The Pitfalls of Retirement

Retirement is not what it is cracked up to be. I'm exhausted, wiped out, emotionally drained and ready to go job hunting! I'll take anything, I am not fussy. After what I've been through, anything would be an improvement.

One of the problems is a recently retired husband. Oh my, after thirty years of never seeing him from daylight to dark, handling all the little emergencies alone, total care of a houseful of kids, here he is. What am I to do with him? There are feet to move when I'm vacuuming, a body to navigate around while carrying a laundry basket full of clothes, There are eyes staring over my shoulder while I'm trying to stir the soup or whatever. Once I have become thoroughly immersed in some project, a hand appears from nowhere, rests itself on my shoulder causing me to become totally unglued.

I'm on the phone and a disembodied voice wafts in from somewhere in the house wanting to know where his Hawaiian shirt is that he hasn't worn for at least 20 years. I'm stumped, I don't know where it is, and I haven't seen it for 20 years either. It may be in Hawaii for all I know or care for that matter. I don't know where it is, I yell back, with my hand placed over the mouthpiece, maybe it's with that crescent wrench you were looking for 20 minutes ago! Then, my soft voice re-emerges and I resume my conversation.

The conversation is getting interesting and I am beginning to relax when I hear this crashing noise accompanied by grunts and groans coming from the bedroom closet.

It sounded just like Fibber McGee's closet, (I'm dating myself) but it wasn't it was our closet. I dropped the phone, quickly made a mad dash for the bedroom to find my husband surrounded by boxes some of which had unceremoniously dumped their contents on him. I sighed, went back to the phone, I'll talk to you tomorrow I said and hung up.

Mind you now, this is just one day. Yesterday was just as bad with the burnt coffee maker carafe, the spilled paint in the garage, the run away lawn mower, and I don't have high hopes for tomorrow. I think I heard him say he was going to change the oil in the car, what could happen there?

Oh those golden years we have looked forward to for so long, what happened to our dreams of relaxing days and dreamy nights? I don't really have an answer for that one but there is one thing I do know, retirement should be outlawed, especially for husbands.

Learn more about this author, Joyce Bueter.
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