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Humor: Picking a pumpkin

by Denise Baer

Created on: October 06, 2009

I cannot help running my hands over its round curves and smooth, bouncy surface. It wants me to touch it, and I must comply for I have waited a year to feel it between my hands. In the field, I search for the perfect one, handle with care, lifting and carrying this precious gift home. But I am jumping ahead; I must tell you how we can meet.

The first complicated decision is where. Where do I find one? Should I buy from someone's backyard, or a populated orange field? Where you get it from is just as important as which one you choose. A small backyard limits your choices, yet a field gives too many. It all depends on your personality type, like if you are a person who has a problem making decisions, you might want to pick from a backyard.

Since I am one who loves an abundance of choices, I head to the closest field about two to three weeks prior to the main event. This gives me time to admire its shell before getting to know its inner softness. With a nice glass of warm apple cider to get me in the mood, I climb onto the wagon that will take me out to the field where my orange crush awaits me. Wet leaves from the morning dew fill the air and sticks to the bottom of my shoes as I get off the wagon in search of my crush.

Sometimes the others grab at my ankles with their thin creeping vines spread out on the ground begging for attention. I stop and squat down to undo their limbs while browsing their flesh for one without flaws. There are many to choose from but few without scars, or perfect curves of the flesh. My eyes gaze at their tops looking to find one I can wrap my hand around. When I pick it up, I check to see if the top is soft or firm and that will let me know its age and whether its inner beauty has started to decay. The younger ones are firm with fresh seeds.

It is important to pick a stem with a steady hand and brush the other one across its flesh. Tap on it to hear how it responds, faint or loud, will tell you whether it will stick around until Halloween. Most of all a pumpkin without scars is a pumpkin for your holiday scare.

Learn more about this author, Denise Baer.
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