by Siobhan Watts

Created on: October 05, 2009   Last Updated: October 06, 2009

Should I stay or should I go? Forget the other 'life questions' such as "is it okay to let my baby boy play with dolls?" or "can I get away with horizontal stripes?" this is the biggie. You've been with this person for 6 months, 6 years or maybe 60 years they love the kids, they are there, they don't drink, gamble, screw around or beat you. All in all they are a pretty good person, but and there's a but there always is, your not sure if you love them anymore but on the other hand your not sure if you don't. Should you stay or stick it out?

You know what the biggest drag is? No one - and I mean no one - can tell you what to do, only you know deep down under all the mess and confusion and reluctance to break up the established order and you have to drag that answer out and see it through.

Love is a funny beast, a shape shifter of an emotion, you try to define it and it changes; it could be described as a constantly mutating virus. I personally feel that I am not able to love anybody more than myself unless I gave birth to them. I'm not able to give of myself completely to another or mould my life around them. I don't think many people can or if they do they are described as clingy or needy, but we seem to try and achieve that much advertised and flaunted state of nirvana. Love and attachment can be described as nothing more than a mutual gratification: You're nice to me that makes me feel good, I'm nice to you in return that makes you feel good. Love is essentially a selfish emotion, looking at it that way it has nothing to do with roses, hot tubs, walks on the beach in the rain. Love and marriage are a business arrangement and when one breaks the deal do you sue or re-write the contract?

There are cases for gross misconduct that should result in instant dismissal: Physical or mental abuse of self or children, abuse of alcohol, drugs or gambling and of course infidelity. However, in some cases addiction and infidelity can be worked through. Punishments, embargos and sanctions are put in place and the offender is swiftly pulled back into line but if it happens again then summary dismissal is the only route.

But what if none of the above are applicable? Well kiddo, this is the hard one and the only conclusion you can reach. By all means get help and guidance, talk it through with friends but be aware they may be biased. They may miss you and want you back in their circle or they honestly feel there isn't anyone good enough for you (mothers are particularly prone

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