by Elaine Sihera

Created on: October 05, 2009   Last Updated: October 21, 2009

In the past, leaving a relationship, especially a marriage, was often problematic because of the stigma attached to divorce, especially as marriage used to be for life. Nowadays, many women remain in unsatisfying relationships of their own choice for five main reasons: a lack of self-love, lack of self-esteem, lack of confidence, fear of rejection, and financial considerations.

Lack of Self Love: This is the biggest cause of unhappiness in relationships, mainly because women who do not love themselves find it hard to have self-acceptance. Their needs are not being fulfilled, but they deliberately ignore that and stay put. They often spend their time trying to please partners, no matter how much it goes against their own desires or how uncomfortable it feels. They believe they do not deserve better; that they are with someone who 'loves' them and that compensates for their own lack of self-love. But in time they are likely to find that if they do not love themselves, no one can love what they reject.

When you lack self-love, you are likely to act in a grateful manner for any attention you receive. You don't really push for what you truly desire or what would make you happy, because you don't feel good enough to get it. Instead you accept what you are given and continually hope for better, which is unlikely to materialize.

Lack of Self Esteem: Having no self-love dictates our self-esteem and, when that esteem is low, we tend to shy away from opportunities and situations that will make us feel better. Low self-esteem means you are more inclined to accept your relationship as it is because you believe you should feel lucky to have it, and would doubt whether you could ever get a better relationship with someone else. Remaining where you are, despite your negative feelings, makes you feel "safe" and secure. It offers no threats or disturbances, and you are likely to reason that it could be even worse! You live in denial about your true emotional state, and are perhaps putting yourself down while putting your partner above you. You won't be too happy with your looks either, perhaps finding constant fault with your body and never satisfied with your image. With low self-esteem, you are unlikely to see the world in a positive light, being more likely to dwell on what you cannot do in your situation than what is possible out of it. This only increases your sense of unhappiness and fear of change even further.

Lack of Confidence: Having little confidence hampers our

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