by S.E. Ingraham

Created on: October 05, 2009

Fatherhood, estimated time of arrival: anytime after the career is established, the bank account adequate, the house paid for, the spouse ideal - is that what is meant by delayed fatherhood?

Is it like a delayed flight arrival? Simply post-poned? Something a man has always had in the works but keeps putting off until the time is optimal, or is there something else at play here?

Perhaps delaying fatherhood has more to do with the inability to have children until later in life because of other complications; e.g. taking care of elderly parents, or divorce or widowhood when young and childless, with no concrete plans to become remarried.

Unexpectedly, or even as part of a life plan, the man meets the love of his life, relatively late in life, and he does, after all, become a daddy. Ergo - delayed fatherhood.

It still sounds a lot like catching the late train - the delayed fatherhood train - and there's just no way around that.

Does research show the impact on the child-father relationship, if the father ends up catching this delayed or late train? The results are conflicting but yes, there are some.

A few of the impacts research shows delayed fatherhood has on the child-father relationship:

Relaxed attitude to parenting

Available time

Ability to show affection

Types of Activities

Discipline responsibility

Relaxed attitude to parenting

In general, men who come later to fatherhood, have already established themselves career-wise, are not as driven as they might once have been, and as such, come to parenting with a more relaxed attitude than their younger counterparts.

They are less likely, as the saying goes, to sweat the small stuff and have come to realize, by this point in their lives that much of the day-to-day aggravation of life is indeed, small stuff. Their children luck out in that these fathers are generally laid back and easy-going, for the most part.

Available Time

In keeping with the above, once the late-to-fatherhood Dad has his career well in hand, when he does become a parent, his time is often quite flexible and studies show that these fathers have much more available for their children. Having made a later transition to fatherhood is associated with the desire for greater participation in their children's lives. In particular, they can be available when the child's mother is not, thereby covering for her and giving the child parenting continuity, an important tool in the parenting construct.

Ability to show affection

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