by Carmel Brulez

Created on: October 04, 2009   Last Updated: October 07, 2009

You end a friendship when you feel that the 'friend' does not care about you, value or respect you, is not honest with you or becomes a total pain being very selfish in their behaviour towards you. . There are lots of examples. Maybe the friend borrowed money and is not making an effort to repay it and does not care that you need the money or are upset by this. Maybe they are unreliable and make promises they do not try to keep. Maybe they only come to you when they want something but are too busy for you when the roles are reversed. If the friend is gaining a lot from the friendship and you are not gaining a thing and just giving. When you do not look forward to speaking to your friend or seeing them. When you do not respect them, like them or trust them end the relationship.

How you end the friendship depends on the situation. I do not see why you have to be totally honest with them, especially if they have not been honest with you. Rather than a head one confrontation and maybe arguments or tears why not just become very busy and unable to take their calls. You can always say that you did not receive the message or tried to return it when they were out. Or only be available when you know they are too busy so you can feign disappointment that you cannot get together due to their commitments and yours.

If you are a straight, honest person and you do not mind a confrontation then by all means just tell them how you feel and why you are ending the friendship. That way it gets it over and done with straight away. But do not be surprised that they apologise and promise not to do whatever again and it is up to you then if you accept this. But if yo do do not expect them to keep that promise. People rarely really want to change and even if they do they are not able to. They might promise all sorts in the heat of the moment but having the determination and character to follow it through are different things. If the reason you got fed up with your friendship was because your friend was always turning up two hours later for your meets, and they promise not to again, they may turn up on time the next time, by making a big effort, then they become their normal selves again.

People treat you badly if you allow them to. If you have standards and principles they are not able to.

If you have some great friendships that are based on mutual respect, honesty, care and support then losing a friend due to their selfishness or incompetence will not be much of a hardship to you. IT WILL BE THEIR LOSS.

Learn more about this author, Carmel Brulez.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.