by N.R. Gee

Created on: October 04, 2009   Last Updated: November 02, 2009

I have heard apologies from many people, and I have given them as well. In my opinion as a giver and receiver of apologies, I do believe the perfect apology exists. The ways in which one apologizes is dependent on his or her thoughts when making the apology. Are the thoughts self-seeking, empathetic, sympathetic, heartfelt? With all the ways that an apology can be expressed, the person it is being given to makes the judgement on if it is perfect or not. If it is a myth or reality, the only way to have the experience to honestly judge is: by knowing what an apology is, to be given one, and to have given one. The person being apologized to, deciphers the words/actions behind it while choosing to accept it. Making it a two-way street for perfection.

An apology can be coerced or given of one's own free will. At times, coercion is a method used for kids and unwilling adults. One might say an apology is even an art, carefully rehearsed by crafty politicians and unruly significant others. So, is it something that can be perfect or perfected or both? That is the real question.

I find the perfect apology to be immediate or eventual, and sincerely expressed by the giver involved in the wrongdoing. Do the words/actions behind it bring about consolation? Mental and/or physical- a product, money, or handshake? As a way of maintaining customer loyalty, both means of consolation can prove to be profitable for businesses. But not only for purposes of producing and consuming. The business between people in their day to day lives profit as well. Under the circumstance that the one apologizing can be redeemed of course. Without all of these factors working to give an apology a voice, life, and a purpose it becomes mythical. The reality of an apology is made obvious by how the one giving the apology feels. Apologies do not always come across as real or meaningful for whom they are intended, but time hopefully will allow it to be mutually recognized if sincerity is behind them.

Sometimes one can not always apologize for what he or she may have done wrong. If one is afforded this opportunity, he or she owes it to himself or herself to perfect an apology in a way that benefits both the giver and receiver in time. Satisfying the "requirements" for a perfect apology takes both the one apologizing and the receiver of the apology. The situation or circumstance from which an apology arose can not always be taken back, but it can be respectfully acknowledged. A person can be perfectly sorry, but the best apologies happen when the wronged party is perfectly at peace with it. Hello forgiveness!

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