by Cheryl Scott

Created on: October 04, 2009

Breaking the cycle of abuse is difficult but not impossible. Though we can not control what someone else does to us all the time, but we can control what we do to others. We can break the cycle of abuse in that we ourselves do not become the abusers.

Three major types of abuse exist, they are, verbal abuse, physical abuse, and sexual abuse. Abuse may be perpetrated by one spouse against another, by one adult against a child, by one child against another child, or in the work place or other power relationship by one adult against another adult. Some forms of abuse are learned and generational whereas other forms are a function of mental illness or other social abnormality. When someone causes intentional harm or violates another person's rights this is abuse.

Strategies for breaking the cycle of abuse include self control, respecting individual rights and maintaining boundaries. Some specific strategies to help break the cycle of abuse are as follows.

Develop and use self control to by learning to recognize when you are becoming angry. When you recognize your own anger, remove yourself from situation in which you feel a need to lash out. After removing yourself from a stressful situation you can perform some self relaxation and meditation to calm down and consider alternative behavior.

Respecting individual rights is an important function of the person who does not abuse another. Respecting the right of another to say 'no' especially as this applies to sexual behavior. Respecting the right of others to hold differing opinions without ridicule is essential in avoiding verbal abuse of another.

Maintaining boundaries applies especially to adults. Adults should not participate in any behaviors with minors which is questionable. Personal space should be respected in physical distance and entering the rooms or offices of others. Bodies should not be touched when the person receiving the touching is not comfortable.

Over all, one must seek to do good and not harm to others. Regardless of what has been perpetrated or is being perpetrated upon us, we should not pay back evil for evil. When possible one should try to avoid and escape abusive situations and set up safe havens for rest and recuperation. One should attempt to move on to situations which are not abusive even if this means getting new jobs, going back to school, and sometimes even moving to a new city. Moving past abuse and learning to live a life of self control, respecting life, and keeping boundaries is a good thing.

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