by Arden Davidson

Created on: October 04, 2009   Last Updated: July 30, 2010

While there is no such thing as the perfect man or the perfect relationship, this does not mean that you have to settle for less than you deserve. Accepting someone's minor flaws and settling for someone who is totally wrong for you are two completely different things.

Many women choose to 'settle' for a man that either treats them poorly, or who is not physically, intellectually, or emotionally stimulating enough to truly make them happy. Most often, women make these unfortunate choices because they are afraid of being alone. They are afraid that their soul mate will never come along, so they figure it is better to settle than it is to risk ending up with no one at all. This is a big mistake.

First of all, being alone is not the horrendous fate that many people make it out to be. It certainly is not as bad as being stuck with someone who does not make you happy. At least if you are still unattached, you will wake up every day with the hope that this may be the day you find your true love. If you are already married, you will not have those feelings of hope. You will simply feel trapped, depressed, and frustrated. Even worse, you might meet the man you are meant to be with after you have already married Mr. Wrong.

All human beings have free will, which means you can either choose to make the most out of your life, or you can choose to make poor decisions based on fear. Being afraid to 'go for the gold' is what keeps people stuck in unhappy relationships, and it is what keeps the anti-depressant industry thriving.

Women who settle have also been known to do so because they think they can change the man they are with and turn him into the man they wish they were with. This is usually about as effective as trying to turn a pit bull into a poodle. Subjecting yourself to this type of frustration is not something you want to do to yourself. Nor do you want to just throw up your hands and accept less than what you deserve. Either way you look at it, settling is a bad choice.

People are capable of change, but it is not your job to change them. Maybe if they do some changing on their own, you can get together later on, but it is not healthy for you to be basing your future happiness on the mere possibility that someone will change.

No little girl, when thinking about how her life will be in the future, says "When I grow up, I want live a mundane life" or "I hope my future husband rips my self-esteem apart." No. You have dreamed of finding love - true love - since as

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