by Carol Rucker

Created on: October 03, 2009   Last Updated: October 05, 2009

You had nine months to decide how you would walk in your motherhood shoes. Before your child arrived, you digested a wealth of knowledge from how-to books and websites. You carried with you a mental to-do list of wisdom to remember. You considered advice from strangers who decided your rounded belly was public domain, and you were subject to their private takes on motherhood. During your nine month pregnancy marathon, you discreetly observed each mother you knew, including your own; and you chose which elements of those motherhood legacies you wished to keep or discard.

By the time your baby was born, you may have believed you had it all figured out; but from the first moment you held your newborn child, you were overcome by unnamable emotion. That surge worked its way straight to your heart, and you changed in ways you could never have imagined.

The Urge to Protect-

Your newborn is helpless. Of course you've known he would be helpless all along, but you never understood it in a way that cut to the true meaning of the word. His fingers are tiny, his skin wafer thin, his eyes bright yet unfocused. His bones are not yet sturdy nor fully hardened; and while his little legs and arms may stretch and squirm, it will take months to undo the curvature of fetal life. More time will pass before he develops strength enough to stand.

Your baby is tiny; yet for such a little one, his cry is purposefully powerful. His very first wail summoned you to feed, comfort and most of all protect him; and you felt it as a calling to be accepted without reservation. He is your child, your responsibility; and from the very first moment you knew you would bear the burdens of the world to keep him safe.

Experiencing the World in New Ways-

It has taken years for you to know yourself as a woman. Long before you gave birth, you stepped out of childhood and settled into a distinct personality. You skipped breakfast because you simply couldn't eat that early in the morning. When your husband was cold and wanted to turn up the thermostat, you demanded an icier temperature because it was better for your complexion. You defied seat belt laws because you couldn't tolerate such physical restrictions. But your child has changed everything.

All notions fell by the wayside as you considered those delicate fingers, those piercing cries and those little bright eyes. These days you nibble oatmeal as you feed breakfast to your little one; you hope he will see it as a good example some day.

You now experience

• 1
• 2
• Next Page >>