Our children are precious gifts from God for us as parents to protect, guard, guide and love. I have traveled the NYC subways and frankly, I wouldn't travel alone. It is not out of fear but common sense and wisdom. Women and children are at higher risk for crime and danger. Some would say maybe the twelve year old is mature enough to handle this subway trip. Honestly speaking, how mature can a child who has only been in the world twelve years truly be to handle certain situations that might arise. Furthermore, maturity has nothing to do with safety, security and protection. Some of the most mature, physically able adults become victims in vulnerable places and times.
Mature or not; children are always at greater risk. This is why buddy systems are implemented within school systems and community events. Even if they were mature enough and wanted to ride the subway alone; assure your child it is for their safety that they not do this on their own and it is always best to travel with an adult. Again, people are abducted everyday and age is not a factor. Placing an innocent child at risk like this is not responsible at all. Those who feel this is a responsible act should reconsider the risk they place on their child. I understand giving our children "a certain independence" but the independence must be age appropriate independence. Going to a school game with a friend, or walking the mall at a distance from mom and dad etc. are a couple of suggestions but traveling a subway alone just doesnt make good common sense.
It would be terribly irresponsible for a parent to allow their child to travel a New York City subway or any public transportation alone at this vulnerable age. Children do travel on airplanes alone but are under supervision boarding the plane, while in flight and must have someone waiting for them to depart from the aircraft. It would cause me great concern if I was on the same subway train and saw a 12 year old. I would probably check to see if the child was okay. I might even think they were running away or running from something or someone. This is an inappropriate age to be traveling without a guardian or parent.
This borders child neglect in my opinion. There isn't a logical reason for the child to even have to travel in this capacity. Studies continue to reveal how our parenting styles affect our children. A parent who would allow a child to travel on a subway at this age is parenting with a style of permissive parenting where a parent simply allows the child to pretty much do as they please. This child at some point in their life will wonder if they were loved due to the lack of supervision, boundaries and rules they never received.
Yes, kids can stay home alone in many states at this age but they are also in the confines and safety of their own home. Even this is borderline safe. Staying home alone at twelve also depends on the maturity of that twelve year old. But then, on the other hand we have latch key kids who are left home due to working parents being gone from the home who are finding trouble within the home as well via the Internet, violent video games, television programming, and household products that young kids today are experimenting with that is considered sniffing or huffing; especially when left unsupervised.
Allowing a child at this age to travel on the NYC subway is dangerous and unsettling. As parents we must allow our kids certain liberties but within certain boundaries where there are chaperone's or there is some kind of supervision for your child. The vulnerability this places on the child traveling in this method is indescribable. There are child predators waiting for these opportunities. Don't put your child at this risk. Let our kids be kids; they will have plenty of time to make decisions at a more mature state of mind as adults.
It is worth remembering that the human brain is not fully developed until the age of 25; so even if your twelve year old convinces you this is what they want to do and you feel they are "mature" enough to handle it; please remember they are basing their decision with a mind that is not quite physically developed in the rationalization and decision making part of the brain (the executive functioning).