by 1PD1

Created on: October 02, 2009   Last Updated: October 03, 2009

What have I learned from my previous relationship?

When I met my partner I was so excited and intrigued by him, that I placed him on pedestal. Once I did that within my mind's eye he could do nothing wrong. When he did things that were so horrible toward me I found rationalizations, and excuses for all he did. The adulterous behavior, the abusive language, the excessive spending, and the lies those were all committed against our relationship. I would rationalize within my mind; he did not mean all those mean words about me, I will work harder and get more money, he slept with another man, and it wasn't his fault that other man made him. What I learned from my previous relationship, and the mental abusive that I endured, is that once I placed a loved one's feelings before my own, and cared more for him, than I did my own well being, I lost my self respect. In many ways I could not see the "forest for the trees".

He very quickly realized that he could do as he pleased, and felt entitled to all the money I earned, all the possessions that I worked for, and all the friendship that I developed over the years. I have learned that a relationship has to be 50/50, otherwise someone is beginning used and that someone will be hurt very soon. No one stays young and handsome forever. Falling in love for the physical attributes will lead to problems and heart break. The most intense sexual organ in human physiology is the brain, yes the mind. Sexually excite the mind, connect with someone spiritually, connect with the soul of a man, or woman, and you will have a soul mate for life. I have learned from my previous relationship, that I thought he was my soul mate, but he wasn't, a soul mate.

The relationship became codependent, and very abusive. Not physical abuse, but rather mental abuse from him inflicted upon me daily. He would commit adultery and blame it on his illness. Asking for my forgiveness each time, love is truly blind, I would forgive. After being forgiven for one indiscretion, he would commit the heinous acts again and again. What I have learned is that get you eyes wide open, any person that you are going to let into your life will have to earn my respect, and demonstrate superior character and morals. We are human, I am not asking for everyone to be perfect, just that I have learned that people can be forgiven, and given understanding, but when they purposely go out of their way to inflict harm and demonstrate selfish behavior it is time to reevaluate that

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