by Steve Whitmer

Created on: October 02, 2009   Last Updated: October 08, 2009

Chances are you already understand "active listening". You either do it naturally and are reaping the benefits or you don't do it and are struggling in your relationships. Active listening is simply focusing entirely on what the other person is saying, and confirming this understanding by responding in such a way that confirms the content, emotions, and feelings that underlie the statement.

So what do emotions and feelings have to do with a sales call? Everything. The truth is, in almost every sales environment, you are not a monopoly. People buy from people they like. The money and product/service have to be right, but that is the easy part. You must know your product/service, ability to deliver, and pricing structure, or you wouldn't be sitting in the chair across the desk from a potential client. Now the goal is to develop a relationship of unconditional positive regard. You must find something that you either have in common or that you can relate to, in order to prove to your client that you are likable. Enter active listening.

By asking a few personal questions, you can open up your client's box of positive emotions. Family, favorite hobbies, vacation spots, faith-any of these have the potential to encourage your client to share with you who they really are. Without active listening, any of these questions simply reveals another shallow salesperson who just wants to close the deal. Active listening takes things further, allowing the customer to feel good, and those good feelings will be transferred to you. Following are several types of questions and strategies to handle the responses.

Spider web questions

These are questions that invoke positive emotions and can go in any direction with no shortage of positive regard. Particularly talkative clients will often take you in a number of directions once this wealth of positive emotions is tapped into. At this point all you have to do is smile and offer an occasional affirmative response, as you won't get a word in anyway. Be prepared to bring your client in for a landing at your proposal!

Tandem Questions

These are questions that reveal your commonalities. You find yourselves having the same hobbies, experiences, faith, etc and each of you knows exactly how the other feels. Active listening becomes easy here because you truly are on the same page-you share that emotion. You bounce off of one another, and the time flies. There are two dangers to be wary of with tandem questions. First, it is easy to forget

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