by Carmel Brulez

Created on: October 01, 2009

As a relationship expert and life coach of many years experience I can honestly say there are lots of reasons why women return to cheating husbands. Which one applies to MRS X depends on her background, personality, religion and finances.

Young modern women do not see marriage as being as important as it used to be, or marry for different reasons. Sometimes to give a proper home and family to children they have already had with their husband BEFORE they married him. They do not care so much whether or not he is faithful because they have not married him for romantic reasons. They do not have the confidence or the perseverance to try living alone or getting a full time job and providing for themselves, so they bend over backwards to compromise rather than lose him. Those that are in a well paid profession hear about cheating and double lives all the time and consider it to be very unlikely or impossible if something like that does not happen to their relationship too.

Many older women were brought up to believe that the only way is to be married, and often married a man they were not in love with and did not fancy simply because they wanted a breadwinner and provider and someone to look after them and to have children by. They went straight from being with their parents and having their parents look after them, to being with a man who they really see as a brother or father figure who is looking after them. They have never stood on their own feet and lived alone. These marriages were never romantic or passionate in the first place. They were more like brother and sister, which will suit her but not him. She sees her role as laying back and thinking of England when he wants sex. To her sex is to procreate, not for pleasure. And she is happy to do the housework and cooking. She sees his job as looking after and providing financially. These women will return because they do not have the confidence or ability to stand on their own two feet emotionally and financially. They are ashamed to admit they have made a mistake and been made a fool of. And deep down they do not blame the husband for cheating in the first place, as their sex life with him was non existent or rubbish. When a man is living with a woman whom he realises does not love him he is desperate to feel that love and will look for it and find it wherever he can. He will feel very short changed and neglected if he is providing for her but not fancied and loved by her. They cannot imagine living on their

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