by Gloria Edmonson Nelson

Created on: September 30, 2009   Last Updated: October 05, 2009

The child-father relationship is much better when fathers delay fatherhood, because they are more concerned about the children's education, future goals, and their well-being, etc. The only downside to waiting to have a child is the older father is not as active as the younger. They just don't have the energy. For example, a father in his 40's or 50's will not be able to participate as much as a 20-year old in playing sports. They do; however, get involved in little league baseball as coaches or referees.

Delaying becoming a parent, for the most part; is a good thing. Research has shown that most young fathers in the early 20's are far too young to be responsible for being a father as well as a husband. Most are just out of college, they have loans to pay back, etc.; so there is very little left for support a family (even with a working wife).

Fathers who wait until they have a career understand that they cannot have the free time that they had when they were single. That extra time has to be shared with the wife and the child or children.

Some immature fathers believe the children are the responsibility of the mother; so they continue to stop after work with "the boys" to have a drink, plan activities alone with male friends and co-workers, spend their extra money without being considerate, etc. When approached regarding these activities; they don't understand, or they will become upset because they are questioned.

Older fathers are more apt to invest their resources in promoting success of all the children, and they feel good serving this role in the children's life. They don't feel it is a chore; as some of the young fathers are known to do.

Research has shown that older fathers have fewer children (on the average); and they spend more time parenting because they are more psychologically-prepared.

In summary, research has also shown that higher educated males and men from middle and upper class men delay parenthood. They are also more likely to be involved with their children.

Yes, delaying fatherhood does impact the relationship because children see their father as being a responsible, caring individual rather than an immature person. Children don't have to see the mother raising the father or arguing with him. The child will be able to grow up in a normal family. When children grow up in healthy atmospheres; they "pattern" after their role models.

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