by Mona Gallagher

Created on: September 30, 2009

The birth of a child is a life changing event and it is true with young fathers too. Early fatherhood has consequences that have the potential of growing a young man into a father of sterling character, or they can serve to diminish the spirit and character of a young father. The path a man chooses isn't predetermined, and early fatherhood may yield surprising results depending on where the road leads.

Crossroads aren't always well defined in early fatherhood situations and hinge upon a young father's support system and life skills as well as his character traits. Young fathers have a difficult road ahead in learning to share, bond, and guide a child toward good choices in life. He is simultaneously working to meet the needs of wife and child and very likely missing the carefree life or dreams he once held.

One of the most difficult things for a young man is learning to share his life. He first learns to share his life with his wife (or girlfriend) and after a child is born, he has to learn to share his wife with his child. He is no longer the center of attention and affection. Sometimes he feels left out of the equation because of the constant demands of motherhood and dependency of a new born child.

Parenting is a new season of life with a pressing dynamic added to the man and wife relationship. Time and energy are in short supply adding stress to the relationship. Even the most secure man may feel a bit neglected in the first months after bringing a new baby home. His wife and lover has a new dimension added to her life and she is absorbed with loving and caring for the baby.

She changed. She became a mother.

Every thinking person, needs a sense of moving in a forward direction and young fathers are no exception. However, without an established career and with added responsibilities, young fathers may feel they are standing still, or worse, they may see themselves sliding backwards. Missed opportunities and loss of self are some of the emotional struggles that haunt young fathers.

In olden times, men were hunters and protectors. Today, with some exceptions, men tend to be more task oriented than relationship oriented. Yet, without a vision for his life that includes his family, it's easy to become overwhelmed. Without a vision for his family, a young father may choose to become a self absorbed, absentee father. He might remain present in the flesh, but provides little emotional support for his family.

Emotional detachment is one way a young man might learn

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