by Cheryl Scott

Created on: September 30, 2009

There is such a thing as emotional cheating. When a couple has agreed to live a monogamous relationship, they are not only committing to sexual chasteness but also to emotional commitment. When one or both of the partners turns to someone outside the relationship to fulfill emotional needs, the relationship fails. Often sexual cheating was precipitated by a close friendship-a friendship that became too close.

Good sexual relationships require emotional closeness and trust. When one partner is giving to another emotionally, he or she can not be fully with their mate. Gradually the mate will sense the distance and feel hurt. Reaction to the distance may come in the form of anger instead of hurt. Adults do not always behave with adult manners. Accusations and angry statements may be slung causing only more hurt. The partner who has formed this new emotional tie might begin to feel threatened over the potential loss of emotional support and distance even more from his or her mate. Eventually, the relationship is going to end unless the emotional cheating is realized, ended, and then forgiven by the mate.

Emotional cheating begins slowly and gradually over time. It can happen innocently in contacts with work buddies, old college friends, or even neighbors. Someone casually mentions their problems, the friend casually offers support. This happens again, and the support grows stronger. Soon the two are seeking each other out to discuss more issues. If an attraction did not exist before, it does now. Emails could have started the cheating, and emails alone could be fostering it. Emails are as potent as phone calls or even physical meetings. In fact, emails and Internet chats often allow even deeper and faster emotional connections with some strange new phenomenal powers no one can quite explain. Somehow the Internet allows people to delve even deeper into their emotions and secrets then real life might easily permit.

If a couple to stay committed and monogamous they must be emotionally supportive to each other, and exclusively to each other. They must learn to share their deepest feelings with each other. If they can not do this they will not remain monogamous and will eventually split apart. Many different activities can support emotional growth. Watching movies together then discussing how each feels about the movies is very helpful. Going to ballroom dance classes is a great way to get close. Writing each other letters, real letters not emails, can be a lovely idea. Questionnaires are great to find out what each likes and dislikes. Couples closeness seminars in Churches can provide some deep and meaningful times. What ever you do, just keep doing things that will foster your emotional growth together, not apart.

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