by Paul Lines

Created on: September 29, 2009

Every family, irrespective of its structure and make-up, will experience conflicts. However, unfortunately it can often seem that these issues are exacerbated within a blended family environment and there are several reasons for this, of which four can be considered the most common.

1) Emotional

Perhaps the main reasons behind blended family conflicts is the emotional and psychological stresses and disturbances that both parents and children in the blended family have experience as a result of the breakdown of past relationships. In essence, the after effect of a relationship breakdown, and the transition to a blended family, can be likened to a grieving process. There is sadness at the loss of what has passed and fear of the future. This is especially the case with children

2) Lifestyle disruption

Second on this list of conflict causes is the fact that the blended family brings together halves of two families, which might have been use to totally different ways of family life and with different rules and standards. For example, when a wealthy family break-up it is often the fact that the blended family may start in less luxurious surroundings which means that things previously taken for granted might have to be foregone.

3) Rebuilding

The two single parent families that are blending are, in effect, rebuilding a family from scratch. Having been through this process once and seen it fail it is always going to be difficult to begin again, especially if the blended family is beginning at a time when the single parent thought the family life would have begun to ease.

As stated in the introduction, all of these causes can give rise to conflicts within the blended family and often the obvious cause of the conflict is simply an excuse the covers the real cause that lies amongst those outlined above. The difficulty is knowing exactly how to deal with these conflicts. Many might doubt that resolution can be found but it can. Furthermore, the manner in which these conflicts can be addressed is hidden in the three letters that make up the word can.

* Communication

Of all the tools that should be used both to reduce the incidence of conflict and resolve those that occur, communication is by far the most important. If open communication is set up as one of the key foundations for a blended family and everyone is encourage to use this approach either as a group or individually one to another, a lot of the problems that are likely to arise can be resolved

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