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WHY YOU MUST TELL YOUR PARTNER ABOUT YOUR FORMER RELATIONSHIPS

You should disclose details of your former relationships to your partner or
spouse for a number of reasons.
Firstly, keeping your former affairs secret especially when it contains elements of unfaithfulness, secret orgies, etc, has the potentials of creating a stronghold of DISTRUST in the heart of your partner. Before now he sees you as an ideal woman, a saint of some sort who is incapable of any wrong doing. She sees you as a guy whose past is not tainted with scandal: he had no ex-girl friend, or better still cannot be held guilty of beaking a tender heart upon which he lavishly poured an undying love. This is the image that is etched on the minds of some ladies about their man. Conversely, some men also have the same impression about their ladies. Then suddenly the lady stumbles into a smelly story of how he chased and slept with everything in skirt. Your man suddenly discovers that his innocent looking angel was hopping from one bed to another before they met. Naturally your partner will be inclined to distrust you believing that since you could keep such sordid secret from him/her, then you are capable of cheating on them. Your partner may never believe you again.

Secondly,if you do not disclose your former relationships and all that transpired in them to your partner, your ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend, out of malice and wicked intent, can take advantage of your partner's ignorance and wreck your relationship. Your ex can resort to blackmail, threatening to divulge all that transpired between you guys in the past. They could present your spouse with pictures of your sexual excapades in the shower and all that stuff. This will inevitably cause your partner a lot of emotional wound.
In view of the foregoing therefore, wisdom demands that you tell your partner about the relationships you had in the past and make sure you do not leave out any detail. Do not wait for him/her to find out anything hidden in your past. You should take the initiative of telling them. This is one sure way of building an impregnable wall of defense and trust in your relationship. Having done this,your man or woman can stand erect and fiercely look into the eyes of any blakmailer and tell them that"he may have slept with all the women in the world but I still love him". "She may have been a prostitute, but I will not divorce her."
Lastly, if your man/woman's level of maturity is at it's lowest ebb, they are likely going to call it quits if they stumble into some shocking revelations about what you did in the past. If you slept with someone who is HIV positive before you guys met and you did not deem it necessary to tell your partner and they now succed in unearthing it, there is the propensity that they will see you as a devil incarnate and will not hesitate to bid you farewell. This course of action will make them believe that you were callous enough to conceal such a secret from them with the sole intention of infecting them with the disease. Whether you contracted it or not may no make any meaning to them.
Simply put, secrets hidden from your partner has the potentials of destroying your relationship while secrets shared with your partner is a vital tool for building a lasting relationship founded on the solid foundation of trust.

Learn more about this author, Bethel Simeon.
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