by Rachelle de Bretagne

Created on: September 28, 2009   Last Updated: October 06, 2009

The way mothers and fathers treat each other acts as a signal to children about what is normal. These are the people who are role models for a child. If a man acts childishly towards his wife or her towards him, the child suffers the impact of this behavior and it can follow them for the rest of their lives in some psychological acceptance that abuse is normal. Similarly a girl who views their mother as submissive may be influenced psychologically to fear men or indeed to be more aggressive to compensate for what they see as a real danger. Often what mothers and fathers don't realize is the long term impact their behavior has on their offspring.

*What children merit.

*What they see as the norm.

*How they perceive violence.

*How they see psychological abuse.

*How they view arguments.

*How they see harmony.

*Creating a balance.

What children merit.

From the time a child is born they merit having parents who understand the child's needs come before their own. Children need parents who are responsible, loving and protective of their children.

In an ideal world, a mother and father balance their roles to make the backbone upon which family life finds its solid foundation. Whether the family is rich or poor, that happiness factor children merit isn't always the model they get. Children merit having parents who love each other and who can discuss things together without too much difference of opinion getting in the way of personal happiness.

Of course adults will be different, and their interests may also vary. The thing they have in common and which should be solid and unbendable is the relationship they have with each other. Children pick up on problems and are more astute than many parents give them credit for. The relationship between their parents will have a great impact upon who they become and how they perceive the world to be.

What they see as the norm.

If a child's parents give bad example by hurting each other, even if this is just by careless words or activity, the child notices. If a mom hurts, the child feels it and similarly, if a father is angry with his wife, children develop fear. What a child needs to see is harmony. Having dinner together with the family and being able to feel relaxed is something which many children never experience simply because their parents are incapable of having a relationship based on mutual love, trust and respect for each other.

The norm for these children becomes the fear. The norm becomes the psychological battle

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