by J J kearns

Created on: September 28, 2009   Last Updated: September 29, 2009

As a child I found it very hard to get along with my stepmother. No matter what, we always seemed to be fighting about something. Either I was not behaving in the manner that she expected or she was, in my mind, just trying to pick on me. As the years passed we found it hard to even be in the same room together and it reached it's peak in my teenage years. I was busy being your typical know it all teenager and she was just trying to raise me to the best of her ability. During this time we exchanged hurtful words and ended up not talking for two years.

These two years were spent with the two of us living in separate houses, leading separate lives, but always longing to reconnect and make amends. Then on day we came together to talk. It was a conversation in which we both admitted our own wrong doings and apologized for the things we said and did. It was a very tense and hard conversation to have but we came away from it with an understanding. We both cared for each other deeply and we needed to find a way to come together again.

It started as friends. We agreed that a mother, daughter relationship was not something either one of us was ready for. So we simply stared from a position of trying to respect each other.

That was twelve years ago and even though we both know that time can change things neither one of us expected things to turn out the way that they have. It started with us just talking, then one of us said I love you and the next thing we knew we were referring to ourselves as mother and daughter. Though this is not something I saw coming I wouldn't change it.

Sure when I was younger my step mother was really hard on me and I was the same way to her. But, as the years have passed I have come see that she did what she did because she cared . I have come to see my stepmother in a new light. The woman that I once saw as an enemy I now see as the mom I never had. I guess you can say that after reflecting on my relationship with my stepmother I have come to appreciate the fact that she was there and that's what means the most to me.

No matter what happened my stepmother had my back and she still does. She was there to raise me as best as she could and all she wanted was for me to grow into someone who would be a responsible adult. She just wanted the best for me. After some reflection I now see that my stepmother was put into a very difficult situation and she did the only thing she could. She loved me in her own little way and it is because of her strength, courage and love that I am the person that I am today.

I give my stepmother credit. Not only did she take on the challenge of raising me but she helped me through so much and now she has become more then my stepmother. She is my mom.

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