by Robert Laws

Created on: September 28, 2009   Last Updated: October 01, 2009

Suggesting that men should not be able to opt out of parenthood once a child is conceived is effectively saying that they consent to accept responsibility for the birth and upbringing of a child each time they have sex with a woman, regardless of their intent and regardless of any precautions they may take.

Women, on the other hand, may choose to terminate a pregnancy without any consideration of the opinions of the father. Or they may choose to give birth to the child and force the father, against his will, to pay an equal share of the costs of raising the child, even in cases where the father was intentionally deceived about birth control precautions being taken.

In an ideal situation, it would best if neither parent had the right to prevent the other from being a parent, and neither had the right to force the other to be a parent. However, in a situation where the two parents disagree over whether to have a baby or not, we must have a decision and we must try to make it as fair as possible.

If both would-be parents decide to opt out or both decide to have the baby, the decision is easy, and once made, the decision should be irreversible (i.e. agreeing to have the baby then not accepting responsibility should not be an option).

If the mother chooses to opt out, but the father wants to keep the baby, it comes down to an issue of relative rights. Most people agree that the mother's rights outweigh those of the father in this situation because of the effects on her body, the associated risks and associated impact on her school, work and social life. Therefore, if a mother chooses to opt out, her decision takes priority over the father's and the baby is terminated. At the point of abortion, the case is closed.

If the father wishes to opt out, but the mother wants to keep the baby, it again comes down to an issue of relative rights. Again, most people would agree that the mother's rights outweigh those of the father, for the same reasons. Therefore, the mother may choose to have the baby, despite the lack of support from the father. However, unlike the prior situation, the case does not close when the baby arrives. Someone has to raise the child and be its responsible guardian for 16 years or more (depending on local laws).

If a woman exercises her right to have a baby, which she knows the father does not want, by making this privileged choice against the wishes of the father, she should accept sole parenting responsibility for that child and absolve the father

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