by Leilani7

Created on: September 28, 2009   Last Updated: October 01, 2009

Making your children responsible for doing chores and helping out around the house is very important. A friend of mine whom I have known since sixth grade is a perfect example of why it is so important. She has no children and her home always looks like a hurricane swept through it. I know for a fact that her mother did all of the cooking and cleaning for her, including her laundry, until she left home after finishing college.

When I was growing up I was responsible for my room, my clothes and I shared responsibility for the rest of the household chores with my siblings. Today my own children, ages 6, 8 and 16 years know to clean up after themselves. They put their dirty laundry in the hamper, put their things away, wash their dishes and clean up any mess they make, in addition to helping me with other household cleaning. It is difficult to encourage them all the time and remain positive, but I know it is important for their future and it will help them as adults. They need to learn responsibility and accountability and to be considerate of others. These things have to be taught when they are young and continued until they are ready to live on their own.

Everyone should be responsible for their home and work environment, keeping them clean and neat. Children need to learn how to cook (or they will become microwave/fast food adults), clean up and take care of their belongings. They will not learn from watching mom and dad do it for them. They learn by doing it with mom and dad, making it a normal part of their daily life when young.

It is then the parents responsibility to keep their kids on track as they get older. This is especially true during their teen years, when interests and attitudes change due to activities and influences outside of the family. Teens sometimes express their growing independence by ignoring their parents wishes, being disrespectful and refusing to cooperate or contribute. A parent faced with this situation must communicate clearly what is and is not acceptable behavior, what is expected from their teen, what the consequences will be for not complying, and the possible rewards for contributing more than is required of them. If necessary, put it in writing just like a contract, with both of you signing it and keeping a copy.

This places the choice of what to do in the teenagers hands and the parent must stand firm, without relenting, from that point on. When my oldest daughter was 14 she started getting rebellious, lazy and had some discipline problems when it came to helping out around the house. She was even picking up bad habits from some of her friends and her grades were dropping. It was a struggle to get her back on track again. One that required suspending her privileges, restricting activities, confiscating her cell phone, laptop, iPod and long talks about family, independence, responsibility, expectations, respect, consideration for others, personal obligations, consequences and doing the right thing- to name a few. Not to mention a lot of patience and frustration. It took almost nine months (She's stubborn, just like me.), and it was not a happy time for us. But it was worth it. Maybe someday, she will think so too.

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