by Andrea-Lee Peters

Created on: September 27, 2009

Relationships are never perfect, this is just a myth we are led to believe as children. Having said that, there are several "red flags" we must be able to identify so we can see when our relationship is heading down that slippery slope to damaging ourselves and our self esteem.

Often when a relationship has potential red flags these appear early on, though often we are inept to know until we are involved on a much deeper level and it is too late. If your partner does any of the following it may be time to reconsider the relationship you are in.

Red flags

1. Checking you mobile phone to see who you have been calling, or who you have called.

2. Constantly calling to check up on you and what you are doing.

3. An insistence in committing quickly to the relationship, instant love or marriage.

4. Refusing to use protection during intercourse.

5. Are they a person who needs constant reassurance as they have low self esteem?

6. Do they control what you wear?

7. Are you isolated from friends and family?

8. Do they refuse to take responsibility for their own behavior or actions?

9. Constantly putting you down.

10. Wanting to know where you are every moment.

11. Switching between being nice to you and really mean.

12. Insisting they go out with there friends without you, but not wanting you to go out with your friends without them.

13. Extreme jealousy.

14. Constantly accusing you of being unfaithful.

15. Threats of violence against you, or those close to you.

16. Do they objectify or sexualize you?

17. Insisting on sexual acts that you are uncomfortable with.

18. Stranding you in unsafe situations.

19. Insisted they you show them your personal e-mails, or diary.

20. Reckless driving to scare you if they are angry.

In a bad relationship not all of the above will occur, but if you can recognise several of those on the list you may wish to seek advice or help. Often once we are in a relationship with many of these red flags we feel stuck and unable to see a way out. We believe our partner loves us because he or she does these things, think again. If a person treats you this way, that is not love, it is control and possession. Seek help and try to walk away, to do this enables you to be stronger that they will ever be!

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