by Melissa Cunicelli

Created on: September 27, 2009

Gail Peackock Radley, that's my grandma. She died sixteen days ago and the tally of days remains in the front of my mind like a calendar. I find myself in a state of denial most of the time, reaching for the phone, thinking of a question to ask, even briefly planning future meetings and events. September 12 was her birthday, 2 days after she died. Her style was so cute and neat, that her last living act was taking her Barney to the groomers for a lion hair cut. I felt a strong friendship with her along with the love. I could chill with her, she was cool. I loved my grandmother with all of my heart, and told her regularly. In hindsight I think she sensed the end was approaching, because there was some intense behaviors that preceded that day,

Two weeks before, I was at work and she called me. She was very upset and her voice was shaky. Her back was very sore to the point where she could barely walk. I sensed that she really needed me there and asked for the day and the next off of work. I drove up there and we had a couple of days together. Now I wish I would have stayed longer. We had a nice visit together, watched a movie about generations of women that were strong like her. We went to the doctors and got her some cortisone & out to dinner, cvs, she took me to get my hair cut and to the auto place to get my oil changed and ended up fixing my rear brakes too. The cortisone eased her pain.

We toasted to her on her day, the four of us. My great aunt, grandma's sister, Bev had brought her daughter in law Sheila along. They stayed at Grandma's with Mom and I.

I miss her so much, she was my favorite and last grandparent. One my favorite people in the whole world. She wanted me to be strong, save my money, plan for my future, have a good career, an easy life. She always wished the best for me and helped me along the way. In childhood she gave me memories of RVing, summers in the mountains, summer camp, Disney World... She had me brush her hair. She was so pretty and always smelled good. I lost her presence but never her love.

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