by William Falcone

Created on: September 27, 2009

To dwell,by definition, can be problematic to one's current life. Dwelling is to think about something for a prolonged period of time. This is different than simply thinking of past events or referencing one's memory of a pleasant event from years ago. For example, brief memories of one's past successes can provide happiness. A high school reunion with old friends,talking of one's "glory days"- such as life as a former star football player -is a wonderful time-for a night. But if that same old high school football star "dwells" on his past glory of days long gone, problems can arise.

This individual who dwells on past high school athletic success,for example, may end up with serious problems if nothing in adult life matches what was accomplished as a youth. By dwelling this person may tend to exaggerate what actually occurred in the glory years of days gone by. It has been said you can't go home again and this is likely true about re-living the past,in one's memory. One certainly can never go back in time. This is where the dwelling causes to be extremely problematic. All one has to do is visit the old hometown and go to the local watering hole to see examples of these people up close and personal.

The reason for this "dwelling" (or reminiscing about past glories)in the old watering hole is to make one complete,at least for a little while. Current life may be depressing and not fulfilling. One may become alienated from life in general. This may be because current adult life can not compare to what exists in one's memory,particularly the "dwelling" memory.

It seems to be most mentally helpful to be able to view past events with a sense of separation. To be in reality is to realize that the past is gone. It is history. To exist today one has to be able to function in reality, not live in experiences from years ago. It seems it is best if an individual can learn from the past. Past events, of course, can be either positive or negative. Particularly one's youth is a time of learning right from wrong. It is a time of development-physically, mentally, sexually, and emotionally. It is a time of tremendous excitement about what the future may bring. How many of us remember those times in our lives-let's say senior year in high school. Do you remember lying awake in bed at that age? Do you remember the excitement? Do you remember thinking of what a great success you would be at age twenty six. An age when twenty- six still seemed so far down the road of adulthood.

Now fast forward twenty years down the road from that senior year of lying awake in bed with a wonderful case of insomnia. An insomnia that kept you awake because you could not wait for the future. You are now thirty- eight or forty and life may have dealt you several bad blows. Things didn't really turn out as you had hoped. Because of the current rut this individual lives in the past. This person "dwells" on the past. So the answer to the question of "why we dwell in the past" is to be happier than what the life of today allows.

Certainly an argument can be made that "dwelling" in the past may cause problems. It may cause problems detrimental to one's adult life. Detrimental to one's fulfillment. Life is a journey. An individual has a past, a present, and a future. Or does he? Perhaps all we all have is today. Perhaps all we have is the day and each other. All we may have are the experiences that occur day after day, year after year. It is the present that matters. We all can, and should, learn from the past. But if one dwells, it seems to be a recipe for disaster.

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