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A Private Ordeal
Sometimes I feel so anxious inside
I need to run, I want to hide
It's hard to explain just how I feel
It seems like a dream yet also so real
My friends think I'm so terrible rude
I have to leave early, they think it's a mood
If only they knew just how I feel
It's not for sharing, a private ordeal
Starting to sweat now, starting to shake
I knew coming out was a big mistake
It's hard to move with the walls closing in
My heart is pounding, a terrible din
I have to leave now before they find out
Feeling quite sick, I have to get out
I wish I could tell them but they'd think I'm mad
They'd know how I've missed all the great times we had
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When I lay down to sleep at night
An evil thought goes through my head
I think about the fight we had
When you told
I stand like a Tree
surrounded by City.
Harsh, cold concrete binds my roots!
I shift uneasily in this
Unwelcoming ground,
while
Cursed
I do believe I have a curse
It has been around since before my birth
And believe you me, nothing is worse
Than this big
I'm sitting on my porch steps with the urge to cry-
waiting for the phone to ring, ready to die.
The stomach tosses and turns
Where is this place called Dignity
Where is this place called dignity?
There was a time I thought I knew
with certainty,
yet
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Poetry: Struggle in life
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