by LJ Innes

Created on: September 26, 2009

Believe it or not, there are rules and laws pertaining to waiting at traffic lights. Just as the rules of the road apply while driving, Murphy's Law has full jurisdiction over traffic lights and all who wait at them. Murphy's Law states that "anything that can happen, will happen." You won't learn this from taking a driver's education course or by reading it in some book. If you're like me, you learn through personal lapses in sanity and by observing others. Remember, be wary, as Murphy's Law rules this domain.

Waiting at a traffic light can be frustrating, especially when you're in a rush. In some sadistic, clairvoyant, computerized way, the light seems to sense your urgency to get beyond its authority, and it stays red for an exorbitant amount of time. It somehow seems to get its jollies by watching you squirm; you can just feel it. It knows. People who have to wait at traffic lights are stuck in a void in the time-space continuum where none of the normal rules apply.

I've seen a lot of crazy stuff at traffic lights. Once while driving from Queens to New Jersey via the Triboro Bridge, I accidentally got off at the wrong exit and found myself a block away from Yankee Stadium. I had been visiting my grandfather, who had just armed me with gallons of coffee, and sent me on my way. It was late, and it was raining. Realizing immediately what I had done, I figured the best I could do was to go down the ramp, cross the light and turn around. The light at the end of the ramp was eerie. The street was dark, empty, and the light took forever to turn green. (See what I mean, it knows!) Despite the absence of any sign of danger, my heart pounded through my chest. There was no other car around me, anywhere. I noticed my reflection in the rear view mirror. My face was glowing red from the traffic light (still red!) and I was starting to sweat. I locked the doors, but suddenly the glass windows made me feel very vulnerable. Normally, I wouldn't have been scared, but my spider senses were popping. "Finally, green." I cross the light and the street, and then quickly turn around. Maybe I can make it through before it turns red again. Not on your life.

Traffic lights in the city are as quick witted as its residents. The yellow light in between the green and the red is a mere blink, a flash in the pan, a joke. It's basically telling you, "Let's go, let's go. Move it or lose it." Being a city girl, I can appreciate that, even when it annoys the crap out of me.

Again, I'm at

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