by Caleb Wyeth

Created on: September 25, 2009

How do you know if you are ready for fatherhood? The most obvious and direct answer is this: you can't. It is difficult to explain, but the old adage is true that the only way to really know what fatherhood entails is to become a father. It is cliche, I know, but ask any father and he'll tell you it is true. As much I had heard it said, before I became a father I still thought I had seen and heard enough experiences between friends and nieces and nephews to feel that I was pretty much ready and knew what was coming. But I wasn't, at least not in the sense I thought I was.

With a few years of fatherhood now under my belt, I still wonder at times if I was or am still ready! The beauty of fatherhood is that even though you are never really ready, there is a greater force at work, and you learn what you need as you go. After all, if you are a man, chances are you are on a most basic indeed actually ready for fatherhood. You see, you were designed specifically to that end; it is in your nature. You have what it takes, whether you know it or not.

This in no way assures that every man will act in accordance with that design and nature. Just because you were built to be a father, doesn't guarantee you will do it well and won't need to work at it, but with humility and effort, it will come to you. I vividly remember the mixed emotions leading up to the birth of my first son. What a wonderful and exciting time! And simultaneously how terrifying! A good friend-also preparing for his first child-and I had many a discussion long into the night about what fatherhood meant, and whether or not we were ready. Some of our biggest fears were surprisingly not as much our financial or emotional maturity, or other obvious concerns. Rather, it was the little, day to day responsibilities that add up over time to being a great father.

How to know what your newborn needs; is he hungry? Tired? Hurting? Can I efficiently and effectively change a diaper? Will I know how to hold him correctly? Can I sufficiently support my wife from a physical and emotional standpoint? And when the child gets older will I be able to understand their unique qualities and needs and respond accordingly? These and many other questions plague the man throughout the first pregnancy, mixed in with elated visions of being the world's greatest dad - playing with, protecting, and teaching his child to become a self-sufficient human being capable of contributing to the good of the world.

But it is not exactly like

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