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The myth of a 'secret' to happiness

by Dorothy Hoffman

Created on: September 25, 2009

Happiness is a butterfly, which, when pursued, is always just beyond your grasp, but which, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you. - Nathaniel Hawthorne

I Googled "secret of happiness" the other day and came up with about 2 million hits. Every day, it seems some lifestyle guru is plugging yet another book on the talk show circuit, generously sharing with the world yet another sure-fire path to ultimate bliss and total fulfilment here on earth. I can't help wondering, though, if so many people possess and are eager to divulge (for a price) the key to happiness, why is there still so much misery in the world?

What is happiness, anyway? Does anyone really know? Wealth, success, fame, love, health and fitness? We've tried them all, and they all seem to fall short of the goal. The pleasure principle - that quaint playboy philosophy of hedonistic self-indulgence- tends to produce more unhappiness and dissatisfaction than real joy. To one degree or another, I imagine we all do our best to maximize our pleasure and minimize our pain, but as a way of life it can leave us feeling pretty empty and unsatisfied. We all know we can feel alone in a crowd, unhappy even while indulging in life's many pleasures. It's also quite possible, at times, to experience happiness in the midst of pain and suffering. This is possible, according to an article in Psychology Today, because there are two kinds of happiness: the feel-good (usually ephemeral) kind, and value-based happiness, which gives our lives meaning and purpose. It's the value-based, lasting happiness we all want, but often we pursue the feel-good kind of happiness to get there.

This may explain why so many of the world's religions focus on the necessity of struggle, pain, suffering and sacrifice in our earthly existence, and leave the goal of happiness for the afterlife. Happiness is something to work toward - always a distant reward at the end of the line, just beyond the horizon. Heaven seems attractive as long as it remains a vague promise forever out of our reach. If we examine it too closely, we're liable to find the concept of a perfect state of spiritual bliss - nirvana, our great reward in the sky for living a good life - is actually pretty boring. Who really wants to spend eternity sitting on a cloud, strumming a harp? Won't all the really interesting people be stuck in Hell, suffering eternal torment? I think it's actually impossible to imagine true happiness without any struggle. We need to overcome

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