by Silva Payne

Created on: September 25, 2009   Last Updated: October 16, 2009

The loss of a loved one is a traumatic experience for anyone to go through. The shock of the loss, even when death is expected, overshadows any kind of normal or rational thought. The pain can be disabling, and in many cases lasts for many years after the event. At this time, making decisions is a very difficult thing to do. Planning your own funeral takes away some of that extra stress from your loved ones at this sensitive time.

If you have a very strong sense of what you want your funeral to be like, sometimes just telling people is not enough. Although living wills are not recognized in all countries or all states in America, making a living will is a good way of clearly setting out your wishes. You can leave the living will with a trusted friends or relative, or with your lawyer. Having a living will means, where they are recognised, that you can plan your burial or cremation, and tie up any lose ends with your property while you are still in a clear state of mind. For those who face possible mental impairment towards the end of their life, this is particularly important. Even in locations where living wills are not legally recognised, many friends and family members will be willing to honour your wishes as far as they are able, and will most likely be grateful that you have taken the time to think things through and let them know.

Choosing the location and type of funeral you want is not a morbid thing to do. Some may feel it tempts fate, but for the most part, not making some plans for your own funeral simply tempts more stress and upset for those left behind. You may have a strong desire to be buried with your motorbike or your favourite set of golf clubs. Without expressing this wish in some concrete way, who will know when the time comes? The choice between cremation and burial may be important to you for religious reasons, as may the particular type of service. While you may have mentioned it to your closest relatives, there may be others who have no idea what your wishes are and who may seek to impose their feelings on to your loved ones at a time when they are least able to resist. Making a living will gives everyone a very definite outline of how you really want the funeral to be.

Many people do not want a somber funeral. It is becoming increasingly common to have a celebration of life rather than a mourning of death. By planning your funeral, you get the opportunity to choose what music you would like your guests to hear, and whether you want flowers or not (as many people do not). Those who are really good at forward planning may even decide to leave some money to cover part or all of the costs of the funeral, beyond the coffin or casket. Instead of your friends and family trying to find suitable readings to sum up your personality, you have the chance to pick your favourite pieces and even who might want to read them.

The environmental aspects of funerals are also better taken care of when planning your own funeral. There are many companies now who offer plain wooden coffins, as well as wicker and even cardboard ones. There are places where individuals can be buried in woodland. Knowing that your wishes are agreed and paid for can be a light in a dark place when you die.

Finally, planning your own funeral is not something that should be left til you grow old. Unfortunately, not all of us get to grow old at all. Putting it off until a tomorrow that never comes may be easier for you, but will not be any easier for those you leave behind. Give it some thought today and start making your plans.

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