by Leigh Sloan

Created on: September 24, 2009   Last Updated: September 25, 2009

Traumatic brain injury (TBI) presents a unique set of issues for its victims and their families. With the rise in technology and modes of transportation, TBI is becoming more prevalent. It has no age, health, or traditional demographic indicators. Unlike a terminal illness, it happens suddenly and without warning. Suddenly, the person you knew so well seems lost and you wonder whether or not you will find him ever again. On the flip side, you have a constant hope that things could get better. At the time of the injury, after you realize that your loved one will live, the worst is over. You are now free to hope and help your loved one on the path to recovery.

Grieving Your Loss

Loved ones can be grateful that the victim is still alive, but still sense a deep sense of loss in their hearts. From day to day, they do not know if they will see a glimpse of the person they once knew or if it will be a distorted version of that person in the same body. Do not feel guilty for feeling that loss and do not be afraid to grieve the loss of a person who is still living. The patient may make wonderful strides toward recovery and you never need to lose hope, but as with other life-altering experiences, that person may never be exactly the same. The sooner you are able to feel your loss and express it with your family, the better you will be in assisting your family and loved one in the journey that lies ahead.

Don't Take it Personally

One woman who had a severe brain injury insisted that her husband of 5 years move out because she didn't believe that he was in fact her husband. She only recognized a few of her children because in her mind, she was living about twenty years in the past. My own father sustained a severe TBI. He told my mother things like, "Why am I married to such an old woman?" and, "I wish I could love you as much as you love me." Now, it may be sound impossible not to take such things personally, but we have to be sympathetic with the reality (however distorted it may be) that the patient is living with at the moment.

Many TBI patients have damage to their frontal lobe, the part of the brain that controls the person's judgment and impulsivity. It is as if the person's emotional and mental brakes are taken off and a person who may have been very level headed begins reacting and overreacting with every impulse that comes into the brain. As the person recovers, she may have uncontrollable fits of rage that the family will have to deal with. The difficulty

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