by Lajoy Hill

Created on: September 24, 2009

There are many things we can do to try to prevent infidelity in a relationship. Before I began with my suggestions I believe that it is important for everyone to realize that they can only control themselves. If your mate cheats it's not necessarily your fault. You can be the kindest, most compassionate, and giving person in the world and your mate can still cheat. Infidelity is not always about sex or finding someone better. Sometimes it can be about a person's narcissistic personality, there need to fill a void in their life, or it could be a behavior that was taught to them by their parents. I do not mean that their parents set them down and trained them in the art of infidelity. What I am saying is that children grow up and act out behaviors they saw their parents display during their youth. So if your husband's father was unfaithful he may not think there's anything wrong with it. The same applies for wives. If women saw their mother being unfaithful they may mimic that same behavior as adults. With all that being said let's get into some of the ways to prevent infidelity.

Communication is the key to any successful relationship. Couples should feel free to discuss their dreams, hopes, and fears with their spouse without the fear of judgment. Being completely open with each other can cut down on confusion and misunderstandings. It also allows the other person to understand what makes you tick. If your mate knows what you like and what you don't like, he or she will be in a better position to provide you with the things that make you happy and vice versa. Talking things out will also give you a chance to verbalize things that you may be holding in and not realize it. Both parties involved should always feel like they are contributing to their spouse's happiness. Making other people feel happy gives the person providing the good deed a sense of accomplishment. If that never happens with their spouse they may seek it elsewhere.

Another key to avoiding infidelity is taking a genuine interest in the things that your mate enjoys doing. Spending time with your spouse in their most comfortable element is important. This allows you to bond on a different level and allows a friendship to develop or grow. Who wants to hang out with someone they have nothing in common with? Constantly complaining about your spouse watching the game or always out shopping with the girls may make them feel need to sneak behind your back to enjoy these activities. And once that door of deception is open it can lead to other forms of deceptions that can be harmful to the relationship.

Last but certainly not least honesty is always the best policy. Under no circumstances is it ok to be dishonest to your mate. Once the bond of trust has been broken it is almost impossible to get it back. I'm not saying that it can't be done but it will not be easy. Once you have lost faith in a person you will become more suspicious of their behavior. Something as simple as that person being gone too long at the grocery store can become a long drawn out argument. Your spouse could be completely innocent but your lack of trust will make them feel isolated thus, giving them a reason to seek affection somewhere else. If the shoe is on the other foot and you have somehow lost your spouse's trust, the struggle to regain that trust could become and too much and make you feel the need to look elsewhere.

The only 100% sure fire way to avoid infidelity is to remain single. Falling in love and committing yourself completely to another person involves a certain level of risk. Love is a precious gift and if you can find it, it's totally worth the risk.

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