HELLO, I am a therapist and life coach who specialises in depression, anxiety, relationships and sorting out someones life so that they have peace of mind and happiness. A lot of people who claim to be depressed or unhappy do so because they are single and wished they were in a relationship, or married and unhappy. Many of those get caught up in the anxiety and worry and get very emotional, instead of working out where they went wrong, or, better still, working out how to make sure it does not go wrong. Some have got married when they were more suited to single life, and would not really be happy living with anyone.
It is impossible to ensure that your partner is always faithful to you and stays with you. But assuming that you have not chosen a very immature, selfish, deceitful partner, it should be possible to make sure they are happy with you and do not wish to stray. One mistake many wives make is to talk as if they OWN their husband/partner. He is mine. He belongs to me. They then get lazy and complacent and assume he must stay with them even if he is bored, unloved or unhappy.
If your partner is mature, sensitive, caring, unselfish and honest, it should be easy to ensure that he not only stays with you, but PREFERS TO AND WANTS TO. and does not do it because of guilt or lack of money or the children.
Always look well dressed and sexy. That does not mean to say that you must dress like a slapper or a prostitute and wear very short skirts and low tops. But do not look dull and frumpy or dress older than your years. Make sure your hair and make up are presentable. Show him that you are attractive and that other men would want you, but he is the best. No man fancies a sloppy untidy woman. Or a woman no one else wants.
Always listen to his problems. Make it clear that if he is worried he can come to you for understanding and support. Not criticisms or judgments or bossing him around.
Always make the time with him fun. The last thing he needs is to work hard all week and then on his day off be given a list of chores to do, such as mowing the lawn, painting the spare room, taking you to the supermarket. He should be able to look forward to that time with you. AND have happy memories of it.
Show him you love him. Write him little love notes, send him loving texts. Hold his hand. Laugh when he tells a joke. Be sparkling company for him. BE ROMANTIC.
Show him he is important. That his opinion matters. Do not suddenly TELL HIM that he must go on holiday with you and assume he must want to go where you want to go. Do not use him for credit cards and money. PULL YOUR WEIGHT. IF you are at home all day and he is at work all day then have a lovely meal and a clean house ready for him when he gets in. Allow him to see his friends and do his hobbies. Do not interrogate him about who he sees and where he goes. This shows you are lacking in confidence and self esteem and is very very annoying. No man is enthralled by a needy boring woman.
Have your own interests, hobbies and friends. DO NOT EXPECT HIM TO KEEP YOU COMPANY ALL THE TIME. Have things to talk about when you see him. Make each meeting with him like a date.
Have common goals. Whether that be getting pregnant and having a baby. Saving so that you can move into a nicer house. But always make sure you have been open and honest with each other about this, and have the same goals. LOOK FORWARD TO THEM AND WORK TOWARDS THEM TOGETHER.
Do not criticise his family or friends. Even if you hate them.
If he is the only breadwinner respect that he works hard for that money and do not waste it or spend a lot of it without his permission. If he is the only bread winner and you are able to, why not get a job, even if part time, so that he is not having to shoulder all of this responsibility. It would also give you another interest.
Do not argue, walk out in a huff, throw things, or get violent ! But also do not agree with everything or be a doormat. If anything important comes up you disagree with, then say so in a calm reasonable way, and sort it that way