by Carmel Brulez

Created on: September 24, 2009   Last Updated: September 25, 2009

HELLO, I am a therapist and life coach who specialises in depression, anxiety, relationships and sorting out someones life so that they have peace of mind and happiness. A lot of people who claim to be depressed or unhappy do so because they are single and wished they were in a relationship, or married and unhappy. Many of those get caught up in the anxiety and worry and get very emotional, instead of working out where they went wrong, or, better still, working out how to make sure it does not go wrong. Some have got married when they were more suited to single life, and would not really be happy living with anyone.

It is impossible to ensure that your partner is always faithful to you and stays with you. But assuming that you have not chosen a very immature, selfish, deceitful partner, it should be possible to make sure they are happy with you and do not wish to stray. One mistake many wives make is to talk as if they OWN their husband/partner. He is mine. He belongs to me. They then get lazy and complacent and assume he must stay with them even if he is bored, unloved or unhappy.

If your partner is mature, sensitive, caring, unselfish and honest, it should be easy to ensure that he not only stays with you, but PREFERS TO AND WANTS TO. and does not do it because of guilt or lack of money or the children.

Always look well dressed and sexy. That does not mean to say that you must dress like a slapper or a prostitute and wear very short skirts and low tops. But do not look dull and frumpy or dress older than your years. Make sure your hair and make up are presentable. Show him that you are attractive and that other men would want you, but he is the best. No man fancies a sloppy untidy woman. Or a woman no one else wants.

Always listen to his problems. Make it clear that if he is worried he can come to you for understanding and support. Not criticisms or judgments or bossing him around.

Always make the time with him fun. The last thing he needs is to work hard all week and then on his day off be given a list of chores to do, such as mowing the lawn, painting the spare room, taking you to the supermarket. He should be able to look forward to that time with you. AND have happy memories of it.

Show him you love him. Write him little love notes, send him loving texts. Hold his hand. Laugh when he tells a joke. Be sparkling company for him. BE ROMANTIC.

Show him he is important. That his opinion matters. Do not suddenly TELL HIM that he must go on holiday with you

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