by Dolores Moore

Created on: September 24, 2009

If you were to put the words "Judge not, that you be not judged" into any search engine, thousands of results will confront you. At the very least, you will be made aware of biblical and scriptural origins, references and arguments. But these words were given to me at a very early age by my mother, who was no great reader of holy scripture, but one of the best teachers of moral philosophy, albeit, unconsciously. She simply believed. She honestly thought the message of these words was the best piece of philosophical advice she could give. She practiced their advice to the letter, and so passed on a design for life that has stood the test of time.

To judge, or make judgements, is a necessary part of living. After all, we need to be able to consider information, experiences and options and make decisions at every cut and turn of the day. Some are big decisions, some are small, but all are based on consideration and appraisal at any given time. But judging in this instance is about forming opinions and drawing conclusions about others, sometimes because of their actions, and often because someone else's opinion is influencing our judgement. Think of how the "bad boy's"reputation follows him around, so that parents warn their children to steer clear of him. He has been judged dangerous and unworthy, and so has little chance to show that, hey, he might not be all bad.

To accept the philosophy behind the words, is to look for the essence of another human being, and not just the outward signs or the reputation they may have erroneously earned. It is a way to open up channels of communication and connection with people, who, if we judge them too harshly or too quickly, we will never come to know. Drawing conclusions and making appraisals of others, based on what they appear to be and not what they are, only leaves us with regrets and an enormous amount of missed opportunities.

There is something arrogant and unkind in making judgements about others, without taking the time to get to know them. Some might think "Why bother?" when evidence and hearsay have provided us with enough information about the person to form a judgement, and so avoid connection with them. An example might illustrate this point, one which we might all recognize and relate to. Nearly every street has a crotchety older person living on it, telling children off for bouncing balls or worse, kicking balls into their garden. The children only see a negative aspect of the person who is always scolding and moaning at them. Yet this old person has a wealth of experience and wisdom to share. If a child is taught to look at the person, and not judge them by this one set of actions, you can be sure a connection will occur. All it takes is an apology, a smile or a greeting, and soon both old and young will establish a better relationship.

If you turn this around, age-wise, and consider how many of us perceive groups of teenaged children as threatening, rude, lazy and so on, you can understand how judging becomes almost stereotyping, a negative approach to life. By applying the philosophy that I consider the best bit of advice I have ever been given, remembering not to judge, that YOU be not judged, much can be gained and life can be so much easier. There is too, that old saying about never judging a book by its cover, and put this together with the biblical exhortation and you will see just what I mean about the best advice. I am so glad to have followed it; I have met and talked with so many great people in my life, and made wonderful friends from the most unusual sources of humanity.

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