by V. Z. Marcus

Created on: September 24, 2009   Last Updated: September 25, 2009

Are you a parent who finds it difficult to listen to your teen? At times, what a teenager has to say may not be the most appealing to a parents ears, and it might be tempting not to listen altogether. The fact is, some teenagers will say things that are primarily intended to give rise or to instigate some sort of conflict, but they will also say things that are important to them and that deserve to be heard. As a parent, it is your job to see to it that your teenager is happy and healthy, and with that job comes the act of listening, even when it is difficult to do so. The most important thing you can do as a parent is to be there when your teen is in need, and most often, you are the first person your teen will come to for help. If you are unable to effectively listen to them, you might not be fully able to help them when the time comes to it.

Fortunately, there are several steps that you can take to make the process of listening easier and more effective between you and your teen. These steps rely on a few simple ideas relating of the importance of communication, and if followed correctly will lead to a better understanding between the two of you.

*Slow down. This means taking the time to let your teen be heard by not allowing your schedule or whatever else might be going on in your life to get in the way. By slowing down things you allow yourself more time for your teen and their thoughts. This feat might be very difficult, as some people have very busy lives with so much going on that regular discussion seems almost impossible. It's vitally important that you consider the well being of your teen, and that they just might have something to say that not only affects them, but the whole family as well.

*Process. What your teen says isn't always what they mean. At times, your teen might say one thing when they mean another. It's your job as the parent to make sense of these things, and determine how much of it is on purpose, and how much of it is accidental. As a responsible adult, you have more experience in speaking your points, and much of what your teen has learned about conversation might have come from you. It's important to set a good example and process what your teen is saying before automatically assuming it is one thing or another. In doing this, you will gain more respect from them and more opportunity to listen.

*Be patient. At times, getting to the core of what your teen has to say may take some time. In order to fully understand what they might

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