What is your emotional self image?
Some people seem to sail through life with successful relationships while others appear to have constant battles with themselves. That could be down to one main factor: the emotional type we are. The way we feel, and are able to cope with life situations, controls our emotional health. There are three main emotional types of people.
Predictors (Main Trait: FEAR)
First, there are the predictors (whose confidence is often marred by self doubt) who live their lives in perspectives, seeing things well into the distance that aren't really there. Being controllers who are ruled by fear, they spend time mainly looking ahead and imagining the worst, instead of letting go and waiting to see what happens. Predictors focus on their destination, not their journey. In fact, they tend to fear that journey because they do not have much control over it. They often look at their life's road, see a little bend up ahead and immediately believe that the bend is a sharp one that will poke them in the eye or give them lots of trouble. They begin to imagine its impact and plan for it in all sorts of ways to compensate for its assumed shock or effects. They constantly fret, worry and fear their lives, using control - of others and their situations - to overcome those fears.
Dreading new experiences, and new gadgets which disturb their ordered pattern of life, they are prone to be loners with extremes of behaviour which they use to cope with their fears and discomforts. Predictors are often difficult to convince because of their inability to live in the moment; to simply let their hair down, to trust their instincts, themselves and others or to chill out and accept life as it is! Predictors tend to seek perfection in love from the very beginning and, if everything they desire isn't perceived to be there, they are reluctant to engage themselves in it. Of course, life is never perfect and so that approach leads to a lot of frustration and disappointment when things do not quite happen as expected. They tend to be givers but their love is usually conditional upon the partner acting in ways they find comfortable and acceptable.
Realists (Main Trait: CONFIDENCE)
The next ones are the realists who live in the moment and prefer to take things as they are. They value the present, looking neither backwards or too far forwards. They are usually very confident, optimistic people who have few fears because of their instinctive belief in themselves and abilities. They like and welcome new experiences, new innovations and new ways of seeing things. Often thrill seekers and the adventurous types, they tend to be keen on simply living - making the most of their life on a daily basis, and see the pursuit of happiness and contentment as a direct goal. For them making the journey is the real buzz, not just reaching the goal. They are not afraid to try anything they believe will give them joy and simply take the rough with the smooth. Outgoing and more flexible in approach and thought, realists focus on the moment and enjoy the journey for its own sake because their primary objective is learning and self development. Every experience is something to savour and for the memory banks so they are always seeking to make it happen.
Realists are laid-back individuals who are self-driven. They tend to achieve a lot because they love a challenge and are not afraid of pushing forth an idea or attempting whatever stimulates and interests them for the sheer experience of it. However, this emphasis on the present often prevents them planning adequately for the future and encourages them to see life in much rosier hues than others are able to. They are also very trusting in love, forgive easily, are natural givers and are prone to be hurt because of that trust. However, they tend to take that in their stride as part of their experience, while moving on optimistically to the next great adventure.
Fossils (Main Trait: STUCK IN THE PAST)
Finally, there are the emotional fossils. These people live in the past and have no journey or particular destination because they have, essentially, stopped living. They are stuck back there without knowing how to appreciate their present, or how to move to the future without the emotional baggage. Some past trauma, lack of personal value and significance, family dysfunction or deep disappointment in their expectations would have kept them focused on what has gone, still using that experience as a parameter to judge everything else, and not being able to move forward sufficiently to see things differently. Usually pessimistic in outlook, and resentful in feelings, they have long lost the ability to trust, to think with an open mind, to appreciate anything new they have been given or to see life with a positive lens. Instead everything they achieve is always compared to that past life or bad experience, which they expect to repeat no matter who they meet.
For the emotional fossil, life was either much worse back then or much better, no in-between. They find it hard to celebrate their lives or their actions and tend to live in constant regret of what they should have done. They are seldom pleased with anything they have. No matter how successful they are, it is just never enough compared to what they could have had. Yet, somehow they never manage to fulfil their own expectations of themselves to reach those impossible standards. They often sound like whingers who are never satisfied, who are disappointed with their lives, yet not really seeming to do anything to change their situation. They do not utilise their present to the full and often cannot relate to the future except in terms of fear, failure and dire predictions. They tend to be takers in relationships, seldom giving much back, as they are likely to be mean with praise and appreciation and entirely self focused.
These are the basic emotional types but many people are likely to be combinations of these as nothing in life, especially to do with people, is ever really one thing or the other!