by B.J. Tolentino

Created on: September 23, 2009

Every once in a while, family members and friends walk up to you for some support and encouragement in whatever they are into. People need emotional help once in a while to overcome some bumps or when they feel anxious about something. It is important that we know how to handle it and not antagonize their feelings. Here are important ways to offer support and encouragement to those who need them.

Listen

Once in a while, you meet people who spill out their emotional burden to you. It could be about a rocky relationship, failing school grades or anxiety for not performing up to par. Whatever it is, it is important to listen first without being judgmental. If you must speak, ask leading questions to get the whole truth. Their predicament might have resulted from their own undoing but we all make mistakes in our lives. It is now their turn to suffer the consequences of their actions. We too might experience their agony someday.

Be compassionate

They could be in such a bind that it is emotionally draining to them. We can be compassionate without being patronizing. They usually just need a shoulder to cry on and a friend to let go of their frustrations and fears. There is nothing positive we can do at the moment if we further push them into the abyss by our blame game.

Put it into perspective

Be the elder sister or the loving mother to someone in need of emotional support. This is not the time to castigate their actions. It is the time to put things into proper perspective. This simply means helping them to move forward from their predicament by stating the facts and consequences of their actions as a matter of fact. It is often difficult, but they must hear it out.

Block the denial system

Don't allow the denial system to overpower someone's perspective. As the listener, you have the better perspective because your emotions are not compromise. It is easier for any individual to use his/her denial system to create an alternate reality rather than face the sad truth. A true friend does not allow this to happen.

The game plan

Once you put things in proper perspective, discuss with him/her, how to move on. The options maybe tedious but it is important that they move forward to the right direction. Good mentoring means allowing them to make the path for themselves. The solution might be solve by just simply admitting the mistake and making amends for it or it could take sometime to develop. It doesn't matter if they start with the right foot forward.

Uplift the spirit

There is nothing absolutely negative in this world. We can always turn around and grow from our failures. Show him/her the positives that could arise from his/her troubles. There are no limits to the good that could arise from it just as there are no limits to what we can do to improve our lives. The best sign that you have effectively helped someone in need of your support is when you part ways with a contented and peaceful demeanor.

Learn more about this author, B.J. Tolentino.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.