by LJ Innes

Created on: September 23, 2009

I'm usually a patient person, except for those times when I'm running late for something, which is a good percentage of the time. If people are annoyed by my tardiness, they should know that I am equally annoyed. When I procrastinate, it's usually on my time; when I'm late, it's usually because I've been waiting in line somewhere. Is it me, or is this world getting more and more crowded?

Waiting, waiting. A lot can go through a girl's mind while waiting in line. I guess it mostly depends on where I'm waiting in line. For instance, when I'm waiting in line at a gas station, I'm usually thinking, "I hope this car doesn't run out of gas before I get it to the pump. Is that idiot light getting brighter? Do they do that? That guy doesn't look too strong. If I have to push this car to the pump, I guess he's doing the steering. Gosh, what if he gets gasoline smell on my seats? Come on lady, what could you possibly be asking this guy? Can we please move it along?"

I'm not sure if I think like most people, but I do know that I think a lot faster than I speak, which is pretty fast, and therefore, I get a lot of thinking done in lines. When I'm at the grocery store in line, and I'm buying lettuce and low fat salad dressing, I'm usually thinking, "Yes, here I am, being good and spending wisely;" as opposed to when I'm buying a pint of Haagen-Dazs and a bag of chips, because you can't do the sweet without the salty, and I'm thinking, "This is going to be the time Mr. Gorgeous Health Nut steps up right behind me, isn't it? Gosh, can we get this line moving already, what's the hold up?"

Most recently, I was on line at a department store buying a gift for my niece's shower. Moments earlier I had a gift in hand, and there was no line at all, then I had a brain hiccup and went to get something else instead. I turned around and there were six people in line. "Are all those people together? Where did they all come from? Okay, they're a couple I think, that lady is with her son. He looks totally bored. Uh, Lady, he's crawling on floor and he just picked up someone's gum. Ewww, he's eating it. Should I say something? Oh, where did she get that, I didn't see those on display. Maybe I should get that instead. No, maybe I should just sit tight. What I have is fine. Is it hot in here, or what? Great, now I'm sweating like a pig. Does that lady have a return? Oh for goodness sake! C'mon lady! You obviously don't have to work; do you have to do this on a Saturday? Can't you do this when I'm at work on Monday? Oh this sucks eggs!"

When I'm on line, my brain is working overtime. Some might call me paranoid, I just say that I'm overly aware. Sometimes I worry that I'm expressing myself aloud when I think that I'm just thinking to myself. I scan the line up and down for any sign that I've just totally embarrassed myself without knowing it. And then someone inevitably gives me the closed-mouth smile and a nod, and then I wonder, "Did they just look at me like that because they heard me, or because they're just friendly? Is this line ever going to move?"

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