Let's talk about living and learning without school. In the absence of school, what do children do? They play. That is, they do what brings them joy. They do what calls to them. They do what they need to do to get from point A to point B. Oftentimes, that requires learning useful skills.
Living is learning and when kids are living fully and energetically and happily they are learning a lot, even if we don't always know what it is.John Holt, A Life Worth Living (1971)
The term 'unschooling' is somewhat of a misnomer inasmuch as many people tend to associate schooling with learning or education. However, let's be clear. We're talking about unschooling, not unlearning or uneducating, and certainly not unparenting.
The unschooling approach to life, in general, describes the way we learn naturally when left to pursue our own personal interests. As unschoolers, we own our interestsour passions, dreams, and goalsand also the responsibility for pursuing and attaining them. We respond to our desires. We go after our dreams with enthusiasm.
Fundamental to the unschooling approach are the acknowledgments that
We learn all the time;
All learning has value; and
We learn best by our own motivation, in our own ways.
Coercion is out of accord with unschooling practice. If, for example, one of my daughters resists learning a skill, such as reading, I will not push her with bribes, threats, or other forms of coercion. Which is not to say that I will not actively help her learn to read. I will remain willing, available, and alert to what triggered her resistance.
Unschooling parents have many of the same concerns and hopes for their children as any parent. The differences between unschooling and more conventional approaches to homeschooling, and parenting, are most notable in philosophy rather than in practice. By outside observation, the activities of an unschooling family might appear similar to those of a more conventional homeschooling family, or they may not.
Children continue to learn through playing, having fun, experimenting, etc., for as long as they are free from a coercive teaching environment. Coercive pressure, based in fear, is the enemy of successful, joyful learning. You might have heard that learning and fun do not go together or that learning is not all fun and games, but unschoolers challenge this precept. Unschoolers assert that
Learning need not be difficult or unpleasant to be effective; and
Play is both important for development and is a perfectly valid mode of learning.
Unschooling parents take play seriously. Play is useful, meaningful, and fun. It might include fantasy, make-believe, poetry, song, drama, art, and on and on. Children use these activities to explore and understand the world.
The unschooling lifestyle prompts us to question the true, heartfelt best interests of our children and ourselves, and to embrace our true joy-seeking natures. The unschooling lifestyle encourages us to actively maintain a respectful, mindful attitude in our interactions with others and in all that we do. In the case of my family, unschooling has guided us to make a priority of actively seeking a fulfilling, happy life in addition to more conventional parenting goals.