by Luke Mcclure

Created on: September 20, 2009

Their may be some biological benefits to having hair that grows in places such as the nose. My problem has been that ever since puberty they try to benefit my upper lip. If left unchecked It would not be an exaggeration to claim I would could be clean shaven and yet have a mustache that resembles the infamous leader of Germany in WWII. In addition, the natural scruffy look is not one that is deemed acceptable for me to don in public. So every week, at the prompting of my close friends and family (especially my wife) should I ever forget, I find myself in front of a mirror with the broadest tweezers I can find and proceed with an excruciating task.

Why in the hell would I use a broad tipped tweezer? I suffer from a rare birth defect in which I apparently have shorter outer nostrils then the insides. In layman's terms that means if you look close enough, I would have a 5 o'clock shadow of nasal hair stubble if I clipped and did not pluck the little buggers. Since I like to keep things simple one tool is all I use for this job- for both inner nose and those long upper ones that seem to have started growing out of my brain.

I grab hold, bracing my self with a quick inhale, and usually my free hand clutching the bathroom counter top. Now, most people might think its crazy pain to just rip out as many of the lil suckers one can get, but for me the quicker this process is over the better. Also I have discovered that it feels less painfull somehow to jerk my entire head back up and away from the tweezers while ripping down with my arm. Perhaps this technique makes the tearing of gross embedded hair away from flesh quicker.

A detail man I am not. I usually just grab and tear away, only using the mirror to be certain to get the biggest bushy areas visible while looking straight ahead. The sooner this process is over the sooner I can collapse into the fetal position on the bathroom floor, with watery eyes, cradling my soreness like I have a bad case of brain freeze.

Admittedly part of this tale is exaggeration but shamefully, less then you would think. Getting older means that this is only going to get worse, as God blesses one in old age by allowing men to grow hair nearly everywhere but their heads.

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