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Humor: When the federal government attempts to fix the economy

by Luke Mcclure

Created on: September 20, 2009   Last Updated: September 23, 2009

For many Americans, we would be hesitant to heed the economic advise from a financial planner who is in debt four times what he makes annually. It might make us consider other options if a particular financial planner has not been able to balance his budget books properly in a few decades. If in 40 years of advising this planner has only made more then he spends four times, we might be skeptical. But, what if this financial advisor is the United States Government? I say that changes everything.


The federal government has arrived at what is to some, the most peculiar solution to the nation's economic woes. You have got to spend money to save money, that's what they always say! Or at least that is what they always do. For the feds, the solution is always spending money, for any problem. Education system graduating illiterates? Money will teach them how to read. Consumers not buying Eco Friendly products? Money will make them buy any product. Military wasting much of its budget? More money will give them plenty to use even after all that waste. National debt spiralling out of control? Spending more money will eliminate the debt!


Some crybabies have arrived at the conclusion that this spend to save logic is like digging ones way out of a hole. Well need I remind them that our government has dug itself in so deep, that this might actually work! A hundred years ago might have been the time to tell government to stop digging, but now is the time to throw them a shovel and say heave ho!


The concept of don't spend money you don't have is something that does not apply to the federal government. In the past we had silly ideas, like that paper money should actually be representing gold. Thankfully, that backwards way of thinking has finally been overcome by progressives who realize that the government can simply print as much money as it needs. It has been this new constitutional interpretation on freedom of the press that has enabled our government to fix so much in recent years.


Some backwards thinkers are still complaining at the massive rate the government is spending. They are panicking because a mere trillion dollars was spent in a few months for bail outs of private businesses and homeowners facing foreclosure. Ha! If you had a goose that laid a golden egg would you worry about cost? Well the government doesn't think so either, and they have thousands of such geese, able to print as many bills as they need.


Of course their will always be those who say big fancy

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