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FINDING JESUS IN THE MALL

Overheard one night at bedtime in the Johnson household as Mr. Johnson talks to Becky his young daughter:

Daddy, who is God?

I don't know, darling. I guess it just depends on who you think he is?

Oh, so God is a man?

Well, that's a good question, honey. What made you ask?

One of the girls in my class today told me she says something called prayers every night to someone named Jesus, before she goes to sleep. She says he's God.

Oh, well dear, what can I say? Prayers are like talking to a higher power. I learned about higher powers in my AA class. You remember when daddy had his little problem? You talk to a higher power and gain knowledge, wisdom and cool stuff we can't afford to buy.

Is he kind of like Santa Claus then?

I guess so, but I really don't know. My folks weren't very religious and I guess it just never caught on with me. We should go somewhere tomorrow and find out more about this God thing.

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So the next day the man and his little girl go looking for God.

Hey sweetie, it's time to go and find God.

That's great daddy, but where do you go to look for someone to worship?

That's easy sweetie, at the mall. God would logically be there since we get most everything else there. The man and his daughter drive off to find the true meaning of life (God).

Upon their arrival they discover many interesting sights. Mr. Johnson sees a possibility in a curious looking shop next to the liquor store, where he has a real thirst for knowledge. He points to the store and suggests going in there.

There's an interesting cultural look to that store. Let's poke our heads in there and see what we can find. They two enter and engage the sales clerk.

Hello sir and nice little girl. Welcome to Oh My God, a wholly owned subsidiary of Deities, Inc. I'll be your personal assistant. We carry all the latest in classic and contemporary gods. What can we interest you in today?

"Well I don't know, Miss. My daughter here wants to know more about a god she called Jesse or something like that. What did you say his name was sweetie?"

"My girlfriend called him Jesus, daddy. Do you have a God here that goes by the name of Jesus?"

No, I'm sorry honey, said the clerk with a look of exasperation. I'm afraid I am required by law to inform you that we're barred by statute from specializing in the occult. This Jesus God is not a user friendly model. Although some people desire this one, he is barred because he has been known to be dangerous and is hard to control on

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