by April Trice

Created on: September 19, 2009

Two things you don't want to see as a parent:

1) A television news crew approaching your home.

2) Armed police officers escorting the television news crew towards your home.

It's especially horrific if these happen simultaneously in your child's first three years of life. It's a parent's worst nightmare. We had all decided to take a lazy Sunday afternoon nap. My husband fell into our bed, I crashed on the sofa and our daughter camped out next to her Daddy.

Where's Cali?

My husband shakes me awake.

I have no idea! She was laying with YOU! (Note how I conveniently shift the blame.)

No time to argue. We notice a lopsided stack of books by the front door. A couple of Clifford books, some old law books and two Newsweek magazines. My husband runs out the back door and I run out the front, both of us screaming our daughter's name, running in mad circles through cold drizzling rain. I see my next door neighbor shaking her head, no doubt tsk tsk-ing from her accusatory perch behind venetian blinds.

I run back into the house, looking in closets and under beds. Cali takes great pleasure in making herself scarce, thoroughly enjoying herself as she watches us work ourselves up into a lather. My mother-in-law assures me this was inherited directly from her father, who also used to persecute his mother in precisely this fashion.

I feel that icy panic you read about in Guidepost, sliding up my face, making my ears ring and my eyes hot. My train of thought completely derails and I begin to imagine worst-case scenarios. What would I tell the arresting officer? Would I lie? I still had a couple of bruises on my shins from a spinning accident two weeks prior. I could say she kicked me with wild abandon, rendering me handicapped as she ran off into the sunset. Or I could say she was, in fact, our dear Aunt Mildred, who was naturally short in stature and was regressing in the speech department, who also liked to take long solitary strolls in the pouring rain.

What would my cell-mate be like? Would she be a repeat offender or a first timer like me? Would I be able to bring my own pillow? With these thoughts running on a continual loop, I run back out into the elements, screaming with such force that I feel a sharp tinge of pain in my throat. I run to the street and look to my left. Nothing. I turn to my right. Hark. What is this I see before me? It's a FOX news crew and two police cruisers. As this scene begins to penetrate my frozen mind, my cell phone begins

• 1
• 2
• Next Page >>