by Belinda Long

Created on: September 19, 2009

There is no sure way to prevent your husband from cheating and it depreciates your value to yourself if you are trying to do this. Certainly, many including myself, believe that when a man cheats, he is missing something at home, but that doesn't make it your mission or responsibility to make sure he doesn't cheat.

Let me explain. If you do things for your husband out of love, good for you! But if you do things for him to keep him from cheating, the resentments and anger will soon become too much on your marriage and your self-esteem. There are just some things that have to be given to God or Karma-whichever you believe in. Cheating is a choice only your husband can make. If he makes that choice, no one, including yourself, can be blamed for that.

If you think your marriage is in trouble, you should do whatever you can do one your end, to make it better. However, when you have exhausted all the options, such as seeking counseling or suggesting it, dealing with disagreements differently, coping differently and changing the things you do that may be helping your marriage go sour, there is nothing more you can do! You cannot stop your husband from cheating. You can only do the best you can do and hope he does the same.

Many will disagree with me on this but I believe trust is an illusion. We all want to believe that we can change the choices our significant others might make. We all want to think that our significant other would never stray. We all want to believe that they will never hurt us. But as much as we think we know the people in our lives, history seems to make it painfully clear that even the most unlikely people make choices that are wrong or hard to understand. We trust our significant other until they give us a reason not to because we cannot say with conviction what the future holds.

If you are doing the right things for your marriage-making the right choices and cherishing your spouse-all the rest has to be left to your spouse. He has to do the right thing also. If he strays, it will surely be painful. Blaming yourself is a mistake many women make. Give it to God or Karma, where it belongs. You cannot stop your husband from cheating. You can only hold your end and hope he does the same.

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