14 of 23

Humor: Facebook

by Melissa R. Bickel

So I bought into it. Now what?

Like many others before I rushed over to Facebook to see what all the hoopla was about. Hurriedly filling in all my information, omitting the bits and pieces I didn't want the world to know about me. You know the stuff like sex (who cares if I have sex) age (I so wanted to lie here, what mature woman wants to reveal her age). Thank goodness I found the privacy button! I mean get real, I don't want people knowing anything about me. Well okay so I have an account with blogger, twitter, myspace, and a hundred other places, that's beside the point.

My goodness! Filling in all the information to become a member on Facebook felt like an inquisition. Scratching my head, I filled in what I thought was needed. Finally complete, I waited excitedly for my homepage to reveal itself. I had to admit I was thinking of all the family and friends I could hook up with, catching up on their comings and goings.

Yes! The page opened up, rubbing my hands together and face posed ever so close to the screen, a gush of air rushed out from between my pouting lips. "THIS was IT"? I was confused, I expected Facebook to have bells and whistles, flashing neon lights and my name written with a fantastic font. This was what all the fuss was about?

Putting my page together was like putting my blog together. You had to add this or add that. You had to move this or move that. Heck I should have just been content with my blog and the hundred other sites I belong to.

Honestly I don't know what I expected. Didn't the information I provide give enough of a clue of who and what I am? Was it wrong to assume my page would be set up for me? What more was needed? Okay to be fair I set about in a hen and peck fashion locating friends and family. Three hours later and somewhat satisfied I ended my first session.

The next day when I got on, what the heck happened? I had all kinds of "STUFF" and I say stuff because I don't know what the heck it was littering my page! So and so took this quiz, find out how you rank compared to them. So and so wants to be your friend, so and so is friends with this person, would you like to be friends too? All i can say is who is so and so and how did they find me? I wanted this crap off of my page. I didn't ask for it to be here, I certainly didn't give them permission to be posting on my ( what was that called), oh yeah wall.

I shot off an offended note to the site letting them know someone hacked into my personal account and was posting information, (some quite embarrassing) on MY PAGE! How was I going to explain this to my friends and family? "Oh I'm sorry someone else did this not me"...Yeah right, I could hear it now.

Well I got a reply and much to my dismay I found out my account hadn't been tapped into and in fact I could have prevented all the quizzes, applications (still figuring that out) and embarrassing notes and comments from showing up. If I'd only clicked in the privacy area to allow only friends and family, I would not had to deal with massive spamming. I rectified that situation lickity split.

Suffice to say I've pretty much learned the ins and outs of Facebook... now. I'm happily booking away with friends and family, networking with people of like interest. I'll admit Facebook has lots of potential when trying to promote work or whatever else you're wanting to get out on the world wide web. I've pretty much blocked, deleted or hidden things I don't want to see. It's great visiting with family and friends I otherwise wouldn't have been able to.

For me though, I'm still searching for that magical site which knows me instantly. You know that site which has everything set up for you when you become a member. Until then I'm back and forth between my blogs and Facebook. To all you Facebook fans, "carry on" facebooking. Friends and family don't forget to Facebook me, you know who you are.



Helium, Inc.
200 Brickstone Square Andover, MA 01810 USA