by James Coplin

Created on: September 19, 2009   Last Updated: September 21, 2009

HEAVEN AS A THEOLOGICAL THEME PARK

It may not qualify as sacred text but I like to think the Secret of Heaven was revealed to Robert Sheckley.

Sheckley wrote science fiction and his genius was the portrayal of alternate universes. In one of those universes he pictured Heaven as some manner of metaphysical theme park; a divine Disneyland were each religions concept of the afterlife was offered and you could pick and chose which you enjoyed the most.

If you were lusty and belligerent, you could fight all day and party all night in Valhalla. If your tastes ran to fountains of wine and playful virgins there were the Gardens of Allah or, if you wished, you could spend eternity flapping about the Throne of Heaven on feathery wings and singing in the choir of angels. All versions offered since the beginning of time in all cultures were represented. Of course eventually one had to chose permanently and the crushing boredom soon revealed Heaven and Hell one entity. That was Sheckley.

Yet consider; the afterlife in all cultures is a reflection of what we know in this one. Of course most of the time it's much better but not always and in many beliefs Heaven and Hell share the same address but one's a basement apartment.

In ancient Greece, the fountain of Western religion and philosophy, mortals didn't go to Heaven. Olympus was reserved for Gods only and mortals were judged and assigned their allotted place in underworld Tartarus. The relatively virtuous were directed down the road to the orchards of Elysium while those not exceptionally evil were escorted to the bleak cheerless Asphodel Meadows.The really nasty were hauled to the punishment grounds of Tartarus proper. In any case, the Greeks placed Gods dwelling high in the sky and the dead following their bodies down into the ground. It's proved an image with remarkable staying power.

Another exclusive Heaven was that of the New World Aztec and Mayan Gods.They too lived in a realm reserved for them in the sky but so far and removed from their worshipers that prayer was unsure to reach them. So, like modern corporations sending lobbyists to the hallowed halls of Congress, the sacrificial alters sent a constant stream of discorporated souls to plead their interests. Those selected were considered fortunate in that they alone saw the faces of the Gods; the rest resided after death in a non-descript netherworld.

If ancient Aztec methods of lobbying could be applied to our modern ones, its a concept of prayer that might

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