by Karen Travis

Created on: September 19, 2009

"Sometimes I just can't take it any more!", a common phrase among those who suffer post-traumatic stress disorder or PTSD. In today's world, our soldiers are entering more and more combat situations, and many are coming home changed in ways even they don't quite understand. PTSD doesn't affect only the soldier, but their families as well. For some, it may affect their jobs, or even their whole way of life.

A combat veteran tells his story. "After the first Gulf War, Desert Storm, I found myself to be nervous and jumpy at any sudden loud burst of sound. I'd jump at the sound of a car backfiring, or at the sound of lightening crackling in the sky. I would feel angry at myself for feeling this way. I felt myself becoming detached from those around me at different times.

"There were times I would get angry for no real reason. There were times I felt like committing suicide. I found myself in and out of the state of depression. For years I struggled to keep the fears and anger inside and even convinced myself that I had it under control."

"A few years ago, I was deployed again to Iraq. Still, I was lucky to have survived this one, or so the doctor's say. I had not only my wife but two young children to come home to. PTSD came back with a powerful impact. Once again, anger took over my life, only this time I couldn't control it. Depression became my best friend along with my uncontrollable anger.

"The anger sometimes resulted in an aggressive manner. I would go on a scale from one to ten, with one being the calm stage to ten being extreme anger, from calm at a one to ten without going through the latter stages in between. At times, I would snap for no apparent reason. I felt like I was going insane, literally. My family suffered the brunt of it.

"The statement that 'you always hurt the ones you love the most' is very true. I would get angry at myself for snapping at my family and I would get angry at myself for getting angry at myself, as crazy as that may sound. I felt as if I was a broken man. Not only did I feel broken physically which aggravated my situation, but mentally as well. I still think of myself as 'broken' today."

"I was diagnosed with PTSD through the Veteran's Administration. Thankfully, I see a counselor, who is helping me to restore some sense of order to my life. I am on the road to recovery, however, I have medication that I must take to maintain an order of balance. Without the medication, my anger rules me, but now, for the most part, I rule it. I still have a lot of issues to deal with but I am not alone."

"I can't erase the pain and suffering I have caused my family, nor can I undo all the wrongful things I may have done, but I have asked for and received their forgiveness. Forgiveness is the one word which begins the deeper stage of the healing process."

"My advice to anyone suffering from PTSD is to get help immediately before it takes control over your life as it did mine. There is no shame in seeking professional help if you suspect you have PTSD. Think of it as the enemy because left untreated, it can destroy not only your life, but the lives of those closest to you."

This soldier is a very dear friend, and his message is clear. Get Help! This friend lost a lot of himself along his journey, but is making a remarkable comeback. He and his family are putting their best foot forward in regaining control over their lives.

Living with PTSD is not easy, but with help, it can be done successfully! Please, if you know of someone suffering from depression or PTSD, create an intervention for them, so that they may seek professional help. The Veterans Administration has a lot of useful information to help you.

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