by Karen Travis

Created on: September 19, 2009

Most of us already have a relationship to one or more elders within our families. Through experience, I have found that having a 'good ear' serves a great purpose in the lives of our beloved elders. I have sat for hours on end listening to the stories in the lives of several elderly family members. I have heard about the anecdotes in life, the stories of how one met their significant other, the happiest moments, the most tearful moments and the most terrifying moments.

Listening to their endless stories, letting them share their life experiences, makes them feel important and loved. They most often love to give advice which usually is followed up with a story of some event that happened in their own life. I stress the key word 'listen'!

Visiting with an elderly person shouldn't be about 'having' to visit but rather 'wanting' to visit.

Believe it or not, just because we get older, it doesn't mean we don't know what is going on or how to read another person's body language. In fact, with age comes experience and with experience comes greater knowledge of the many facets of man. In other words, don't mistake older age with being dumb.

Don't make it seem as if it is some great chore you have to do. If your elder picks up on this, many times they feel bad and can easily become depressed.

Treat your elders with great respect, for they have earned it! Talk with them about your life. Share with them anecdotes or life lessons you have learned. You may be surprised at how your experiences might relate to those of the elderly you are visiting.

If able, take a walk or a trip with your elder and enjoy it! Getting them out and about could be good for them and for you. If you take them to the doctor, then afterwards, take them to lunch or to dinner. Suggest visiting other family members or friends. Bring them to your house for a visit and treat them like royalty! Remember that it is a good feeling to feel loved.

Making photo memories, even silly ones can liven up your relationship and bring a smile to both of your faces. Share family photos, new ones and old ones. Ask to see their photo albums and ask them to tell you about the photos within.

If your elder has a favorite craft and still is able to do it, then ask them to teach it to you. Keeping them actively engaged in an activity is said to keep them younger. The two most important things to remember are to actually spend quality time with them and to listen to them!

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